Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Fatal Mistakes In Relationship part 2

Do you keep making the same mistakes over and over? Do things seem to be going great and then suddenly it all crashes and burns?   It's time to stop sabotaging yourself.

Yes, you heard me right. It's time to take control of your love life!  And taking control starts with you.

We all make mistakes. You make them. I make them. When it comes to love, sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over! Why do we do that? You would think that once we make a mistake, we would learn from it.

But relationships are tricky. It takes two to tango-and it takes two to break up. So we can often see those fatal love mistakes as our partner's fault. Or maybe we are too blinded by the hurt of
the loss to see what we've done wrong.  Let me help you stay away from those mistakes!

You can prevent history from repeating itself. It starts with a long, hard and honest look at your past. Are you guilty of these love mistakes?  If you are, now is the time to change it!

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #1: MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL

Men hate drama. They avoid it like the plague.

When there is a tiny issue that gets blown into a very BIG issue, men tend to back away as cautiously as possible. They see the drama like a rattlesnake about to strike. It's time to get away before things get worse!

Making a small issue into a big deal can be a serious mistake. It takes your mind away from the important things. Why focus on something that won't matter next week?  Let the little things go. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on the big picture.

You will be much happier, and guess what? A happier you means a happier relationship!

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #2: GIVING UP TOO SOON

Every relationship has tough times.  It's going to happen. It might take years, but there will almost certainly be a rough patch.  There will be tears. There might be arguments. There might be long days of silence.  But that doesn't spell the end!  Remember that "tough" doesn't mean
OVER.

Remember that "rough" doesn't mean BAD.  Too many women make the mistake of thinking that a really bad fight means it is time to go their separate ways. They throw in the towel before the game is over!

Have you ever had a moment of despair? When you thought things were too far gone to fix? What did you do? Sometimes things really do get that bad, and it's time to walk away. But
don't let that happen the first moment you have a fight. Don't let the first rough patch spell disaster! It's a serious love mistake that you might not be able to take back.

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #3: LOSING THE MYSTERY

Have you ever had a man head-over-heels in love with you? But then one day he started to lose
interest. He just wasn't as attracted to you anymore.  Then you had the "It's not you, it's me" talk. He wanted to date other people.  What HAPPENED?

Maybe the mystery was gone.  Men love the chase. They love trying to figure you out. They love discovering something new about you. It reminds them of when you first met!

If a man knows everything about you, he no longer has a reason to find out more.  Avoid this mistake by holding on to the mystery. Let him figure you out! Let him play the game of getting to know you at his own speed. Let him have the fun of enjoying you.  It's like opening a present. He wants to savor the anticipation.  You should savor it, too.

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #4: LETTING HIM RUN THE SHOW

Let's face it: We all love the alpha male. Women are drawn to strong men who know exactly what they want. It's in our nature to be attracted to a confident and sure man.  But that doesn't mean we should be wallflowers!

Too many times we let ourselves become "Yes" women. We say yes to whatever dinner he wants, whatever movie he wants to see, or whatever he wants to do on Friday night.

We say "yes" to things that we don't like, simply to make him happy.  That's a serious mistake! Men love the challenge, remember? A woman who says "yes" all the time is not a challenge. She's simply someone who lets him have his way!

Avoid this mistake by standing up for yourself.  That doesn't mean you have to argue. It doesn't mean you have to insist on going left when he wants to go right.

It simply means that you should have your own opinions. Voice them! Don't do what he wants simply to keep the peace.  Men like to be in control. But they also like a strong woman with a mind of her own.  You're that woman! So don't hide behind the word "yes" anymore.

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #5: HOLDING ONTO OLD MISTAKES

We all have baggage. We can't help it. It's human nature.  But dragging our old baggage into our
new relationship is a recipe for failure.  Let me give you a scenario:

You meet this great new guy. He's wonderful! But he has an ex who really burned him.  That ex did something terrible.  Something that deserved a breakup.  Something that will draw really BAD karma.  But let's say that your new guy keeps blaming YOU for what SHE did.

He doesn't trust you. He expects you to stray. He keeps waiting for bad things to happen.  Not a good feeling, huh? That's what you do to a man when you bring the baggage from your previous
relationship into the new one. You set him up for failure, no matter how great he is! Old baggage is a no-no. Toss it overboard!

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #6: TRYING TO BE EVERYTHING

This is something we all do, whether we are in a relationship or not. How many times have you tried to be everything to everyone?  Have you tried so hard to please that you exhausted yourself?  Have you tried to look perfect? Act in a certain way? Talk about certain things?

Have you tried to be perfect for someone, only to find that you didn't like who you became? Take charge NOW and stop trying to be everything!  It's something every woman does. You know you've done it. I admit I have done it, too.

 The thought of being Superwoman is a nice one. But Superwoman is NOT REAL! She is pure fiction. A woman who can do everything and BE everything is pure fiction, too!  Get comfortable with yourself. You are good enough.  You are everything he needs, just as you are.

You ARE enough!

Are you ready to fix those mistakes and move into a healthier place?

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