Is He A Player?

Have you ever wondered if the man you're in love with is a player? easy to worry -- after all, players are nothing but trouble when you're looking for real love! If you want to really find out if he's a player  Let's say you met a nice new guy. He's cute, he's fun, he's confident, and -- best of all -- he's your type!

There's no question that he likes you too, but there's just one nagging question you can't get out of your mind -- is he a player? Players are a troublesome bunch! These guys can give you the most exciting relationships, but can also put you through the most miserable breakups.

No matter how good they look or how fun they are to be with, when it comes down to it, they're really little more than a bunch of heartbreakers.  You guessed it -- for today's newsletter, we'll be talking about players. Why? Because, like it or not, they're here to stay!

WHAT A PLAYER IS

Players are basically men, whether they're single or otherwise, who play the dating game solely for the fun of it. They're NOT looking for someone to settle down with and eventually marry.
Their goal is to meet and get frisky with as many new women as they can.

As you might expect, players aren't great for relationships. They CAN be hot, steamy boyfriends for a few weeks or so -- but once they have their way with you, they get bored.  And when they get bored, you can bet they'll be on the lookout for the NEXT woman to play with!

Naturally, if you're looking for a good man to be your boyfriend (and later your husband), you'll want to avoid players at all costs. There's just one problem... It's not always easy to tell whether or not a man is a player! Players have a way with words, so the best way to tell a player from a real man is through his actions. Here are a few ways to tell whether or not he's a player...

HOW TO TELL IF HE'S A PLAYER

Player Red-Flag #1 - A player wants sex early in the relationship.

Does he talk about or suggest having sex within the first few weeks of the relationship? Does he sometimes schedule to meet you somewhere private, such as at his place or yours?

Be careful -- having sex early in the relationship is NEVER good for you! (It's only good for him, and no one else.) After having sex with you, he'll start thinking he has already "conquered"
you -- and he'll lose interest in keeping the relationship going any longer.  Ouch!

Player Red-Flag #2 - A player doesn't like to talk about the future.

In fact, he avoids talking about the relationship a lot -- whenever you try to talk to him about settling down and getting married, he simply shrugs it off and changes the topic.  He's much, much more interested in the present than the future!  Let's face it -- players have no plans of keeping you as their girlfriend for very long. Once they find a new toy (a new woman, obviously), they'll dump you.

They'll spend less time with you, causing you to get angry and argue with them -- and they'll use that as an excuse to say, "It's not really working out for us."  Double ouch!

Player Red-Flag #3 - A player isn't too interested about your background.

He doesn't listen too well, and gets bored quickly when you talk to him about yourself and more "intellectual" topics. When he talks, it's mostly about himself.  That's a given -- after all, players
survive in the dating game by marketing themselves. They want to look good, sound good, and feel good to the women they meet. After all, that all that matters to him -- "winning" women's hearts.

HOW TO DEAL WITH PLAYERS

Right now, I'd like you to ask yourself -- where are you at this point in your love life? Are you ready to settle down with a good man? Or are you still "feeling" your way through the dating game, and think you need more experience before you can become a good wife?

If you're still "feeling" your way through the dating game, then you can take the risk and spend time with a player. Surprisingly, if you can manage to keep yourself from falling too deeply in love with them, the casual relationship can be fun, and you'll learn quite a bit about the dating game!

But if you're looking for someone who'll eventually become a steady boyfriend, then you'll want to avoid getting too involved with players.  But it's not always easy, as in the case of VG, one of my readers who's now hopelessly in love with a player. We'll get to her story in a bit. For now, here's another question for you:

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH A PLAYER?

What do you do when you're hopelessly in love with a player? What do you do when you simply can't get over him? What if you feel you're going to die if he won't be your husband in the end?

VG wrote to me about how she once had a relationship with a man, but later realized that he was a hopeless player. The guy only wanted the physical side of things, and none of the emotional responsibilities. Unfortunately VG had already fallen desperately in love with him...

"We've kissed, but I've avoided having sex with him," VG wrote to me. "In fact, I've been avoiding any invitation to meet privately. I know that if we ever have sex, he's going to dump me for good. What do I do, Alex? I simply can't get over him -- I want him to marry me eventually.

VG's situation is very tricky -- there's simply no guarantee that he's going to change his mind about being a player. If VG stays with him, she loses. And if VG leaves him, she still loses. Think of the heartbreak she'll have to go through!

But here's my advice, VG -- if you truly want to take the risk of making him "the one," then don't stay with him. But on the other hand, don't leave either!  What you should do is stay in his radar,
but start meeting other men on the side.

Start dating. Start making friends. Start flirting!  In other words, I'm asking you to try being THE player in the relationship.  Try becoming the kind of woman that the REAL men out there actually WANT to know better -- fun, independent, mature, and attractive in all aspects!

If you play your cards right, he's going to notice that you're actually doing FINE without him. And since players value their reputation more than anything else, he's going to try to win you back!

Yes, it's possible. In fact, it can even be EASY! When you know exactly how a man's mind works in the dating game, you'll know which buttons to push to actually make him see you as more than just a friend with benefits!