Is it Worth to Be The Other Woman?

My marriage ends because of the third person came to our marriage.  I still wondering..do we really have to be so selfish when it comes to love? When you think you should be with the person you love are forbiden or in other words is "belongs" to someone else and are engaged with ring or law? What do you feel if that happens to her? how does she feels?

My little sister is in the position where she involved with a married guy.  She didn't want to hear what my mother and I objected.  She knew the risk..the risk of having a bad reputations in her office.  His wife were sending emails spreading my sister's affair with her husband.  Now..she have to face the consequence of playing with fire.

I mean..what is the benefit of being someone else in other's life? not much..you may have the person you love but till how long? what if you have insecure feelings that he still love his wife and miss his son/daughter? what if he wants to go back to her? what if people looking at you sinically that you are a stealer? Well that s life..

We never understand about it..just lived with it. 

My Dream House

Been critize with mom, forgotten to bring my wallet on the way to school this morning..ahh..I usually don't like to complain on such things like that, but today..I feel so sensitive. I wasn't a complainer..to me..people who likes to complain on such a small thing are just wasted of energy.

Everybody has their own problem, whether its small or complicated. But we often don't realized that our action is affecting other's. For example someone has a very bad mood in the morning, perhaps because he/she have her own stress..sometimes she/he will throwing their emotions on other people.  Like being grumpy or critizing. That emotions, can make someoneelse feeling bad also, and it will impact on their day.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have to take bad energy that someone threw on me. And trying to thing positively in a worst time or day, and just take it as a humor. If we try to blame everything with unlucky situations or not taken problems lightly..I believe that you will going through a bad day whole day.

So..today I learned to get through the small problems. Now..I have to get through my other case in my relationship and how I have to deal with it.

 

miss him so much..

Walking everyday to my son's school makes my tight and bottom firm:)  besides, it really healthy to snip the fresh air and listening to the biracds sings

wanna sleep good this afternoon..zzzzzz..

Today, Planted some green onions in my garden with a small plastic cups..we don't have big yards to have a big garden, but at least we can be creative.. I think if we are creative everything can be so good.  we can survive if we have creativity.  I like to recycle bottles, cans, anything that i can use for my plants.  I think we can help the earth start from our own environment. 

Ebook

I paid an ebook with Western Union more than a week ago but they said that they don't accept western union payment, so what about my money?? 20 dollar is not cheap for me.  I need that book..At least they should trying to serve us better..I paid..I send the receipt now I want my book!!

When you have business, you should serve your client like a king..they are your customer, they pay you..but if you ignore them they will lost interest and respect with your product.  No matter how they paid with or without credit cards, they spend their money to buy your product..and you should give it to them as soon as possible.

Make Money

Wish God giving me some extra money to start my own business..God pleaaseee..open a chance for me to be independent.  Let me taking care of myself and my son. I need to stand up on my own..I want to have my own freedom God.  To feel free from fear of poverty, uncertainty, unrespect.

I don't want to find money in a wrong way..I want to take any chance as long as its positive and honourably.

I try to get a job but i have to compete with fresh graduate.  Now I'm thinking to get a small business..but, how?

Today adding some more flower into my little secret garden..poisentias and ducklips..

Hang out at this romantic cafe near my house where the place is quiet and rustic..old village scenery..

love it!

Losing Hope

Somehow i felt losing of hope..about him..

He is getting further and further away.  I was asking myself will it be over..?

is this meaning that he is leaving me here alone?

If I am now are alone..who will be there for me?

will there be someone who wants to be with me?

the memory of us is playing now in my mind..

123Greetings.com
Just sending my favorite guy a season greeting..hope he likes it..

Don't go Changing by Barry White..his dedicated song for me..

soo deep..

I Want To Forget About You

I want to forget you..forget you..

I just want to care about myself

I want to ignore you

I think you punished me..

But..I know..this is my fault.

tomorrow my bestfriend will come..aaayyyyy

No Need To Worry

I don't have to be worried about having relationship with a men as long as I have the power.  It is about high self esteem and being confidence to myself.  I am everything, I am not a cheap person, I have my own principe and boundaries about being a women.  And I will not giving up too easily.  I know my power is my sexuality and my sensuality.  

If a men want me, he needs to be bold, hard working, who willing to claim me as his.  He needs to working hard to be with me.  The only thing I should do is to sit here around, smiling, waiting for the ultimate winner of my heart..:-)

j'ai mange japonais donburi et miso soup..miam miam..

J'ai apprende le francaise!!

I love this..I wish he made this for me..):

Levi's

I want this jeans!! but it is soo expensive!

Today..the plan to go to Yoga was canceled..and i found lots of catepilar on my flowers..

Soulmates

I found this in my favorite news letter..Ariel's Blog about Soulmate secret. 

Dear One,
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively, but I say “No.” Not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, will you be ready to have the intensely personal and unique relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with anyone or anything else until you are united with Me. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and start allowing Me to give you the most thrilling plan in existence – one that you cannot even imagine. I want you to have the best. Please, allow Me to bring it to you.

You must keep watching Me expecting the greatest of things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things that I will tell you. Just wait. That’s all. Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things others have or that I have given them. Don’t look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking up to Me or you will miss what I want to show you. And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you have dreamed of.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. This is Perfect Love.

And Dear One, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer. Know that I love you utterly. Believe it and be satisfied.
Love,
God

---

http://soulmatesecret.com/blog/

Do Not Loose Your Faith

Do not lose your hope, because something cannot change instantly as you wish.  You will surely facing life chalanges which can weak your spirit. 

Therefore do not let them defeat you.

La Tahzan

How To Make My Heart Smiling again?

I have no clue how to answer this own question.  I was looking the answer to God..how Dear Lord?

This question suddenly popping up in my mind yesteday.  All this time my mind was always occupied by negative thoughts that people said about me.  And I know human behaviour mostly judging a person from their outlook.  They said i'm superficial, dumb, individualist etc..and I don't know why my mind always repeating their words like a tape.  I tried to ignored it..but sometimes it tickles me..Am I really superficial, dumb, individualist like what they think i am? How long do they know me?

 Sometime I feel disgusted with people who have such a shallow minded who likes to judge a person by it's cover.  Well I don't need their approval.  Did they helping me? I guess if I listen to what people said.  If I always looking for their approval, i will never be happy..because i have to be someone who is not me!

Guess the answer is..just love myself, be with myself, or in other word being self centered.

Waiting Him To Come..

Last night my boyfriend send me email, that he will come to Indonesia next year..and he promised.
But he never mention when, June? December?
if i write this to him..ok je t'attends l'anne prochaine..

will he? will he..?
he said "l'anne prochaine .demain j'ai un rdv pour 2 nouveau travail...
nouveau travail = argent
argent = voyage.
oui je vais venir, je te promet."

What Is Your Contribution For Others?

Inspired by a book I forgot the title.."A Thursday with Morris?" argh..i forgot..but, this story is about an old men who met 5 important people in his coma.  This five persons, are those who connected and got influenced by his presence in his life.

So, I was thinking..what is my contribution in someone else's life? I am sure I did positive and negative influence to people around me.  But as far as I can remember, I tried my best to put others need rather my own needs.  I usually are a sweet person, who always likes to help anybody who needs my help, gave them support and encouragement to friends or family who are in despair. 

I remember what other people did to me when i was young, or as long as I'm living..some of them are good and some are bad.  To the people who brought me positive contributions in my life..I personally honoured them to be such a good influence for my life.  But for some who did negative influence to me, well..i still grateful that they make me learn from the bad thing..It is life..one person that i still remember his opinion about me when I was younger that made me grow as a person who lack of confidence, shy..

It was when I was in junior high school, this boy is a star in the school..girls crush including me..Oneday, a friend of mind made a prank on him, she told him..that Ginggi (me) has a crush on you.  He asking her, "who? Ginggi the nerd girl?"  then since I hear his comment, I cried..that is one word that can change your whole life and who you really are.  I was shy and lack of confidence, but i grew and i am wiser now.

That is my point of view..one wise word say..you can build someone from your words or you can destroy them. That is also your contributions of life to someone else..you may not know what you did to others whether it intentionly or unintentionly. positive or negative..

I personally trying my best to become an inspirational person to someone else.  Though you think I'm nobody..but I just want to share to you, to be the best human as possible, rather then just an odd one.

 I like gardening..i like to see the green leaves, to smell the colourful roses and flowers..it makes me feel relaxs.  When I’m in stressful moment, I can run to my own little garden.  Sometimes I talk to them, encouraging them to bloom pretty.

I believe all creatures including trees and plants have a feelings.  They can hear you and react just like us humans.  So, when i’m at it..I talk to them, and gave them a name..like..”hello good morning madam rose..how are you today?”  or I talked to other plants and calling them “well hello mama violches..”:-)

If we care for animals and plants the same like we care to other humans, I believe they will respons positively.  And you cannot taken for granted their abilities to us..human..they produced oxigen, their colour makes us happy and of course they make this earth pretty too.  They also provide us food.

So..why don’t we start respecting them and be grateful for what they gave to us?  I believe we can get a good carma by treating them good and respects.

Children is a miracle from God.  He came to our life sometimes in an unexpected time and reasons.  This boy..my son, he was born at the time when his mother and father in a way of separation.  but behind the story..God have a meaning that i can learn..He become an angel who cheer me.  He is the only reason i lived.

He kiss me when i cried, he danced and makes me laugh, he hold me when i need a hug.  I can forget all the problems when we play together.  He greetes me a good morning with his baby talk when he woke up in the morning and smiling at me.

So many precious moment we both have that makes me feel so grateful and happy.  He is my precious gift from God.

To Darren with love
mommy

Sometimes..

Sometimes you gotta runaway so you can see who will run after you.  Sometimes you gotta talk quieter just to see who's listening

Sometimes you gotta step up in a fight just to see whos by yourside.  Sometimes you gotta make a wrong decitions  to see whose there to fix it.

Sometimes you gotta let go of the one you love just to see if they love you enough to come back.

Stay Away from Neediness

When you feel the need to get your men attentions in high demand, try to put your focus on yourself otherwise he will sense you as needy.

Lesson About Relationship from My Experience

1. Believe in yourself.

    Trust to yourself that you are an amazing, unique, charming, educated personality.  Nothing can put you down just because you have a fail relationship.

You cannot wish yourself to be someone else, perhaps you wish that you have a perfect body like models, or a high nose and cheek, or sexy and glamour like celebrity.  You have to accept yourself and love yourself just the way you are.

3. You don't have to try so hard in a relationship

   You don't need to make him happy, he is the one who should make you happy.  If he loves you, he will do anything to make you happy and be with him.  He will be the one who make a step in your relationship because he is the men.

4. Self Esteem

    Listen to your heart, make a list what things you want and what you don't want. stick with that lists and plan. Do not ever lower your standard.

5. Don't show you love him too fast.

    You better keep your heart back, leaning back and see what he can offer to you.  See what he do, rather than what he said.  If you learn that he really loves you than you can give back as much as he gave.

6. Leaning back, stay where you at..let him do the dance, but open your heart.

7. You have to refuse to be treated less then what you deserve..you have your own standard and boundaries.

8. Dating rules, relax, open your heart, be a good listener, and be a good friend.

9.How to comunicate with your men on dating, 3 his information: 1 your answer.

10. Don't tell your secrets in early dates.  Keep it till you both in a deeper level. Don't share personal informations like the books you are reading etc.

Woman

He who would understand a woman, or dissed genius, or solve the mystery of silence is the very man who would wake from a beautiful dream to sing at a breakfast table.

- Khalil Gibran -