Kamu tahu siapa ini? aku..:) Snow White..

Soul Bread # 9

Jangan pernah berkata selamat tinggal jika kamu masih ingin mencoba.  Jangan menyerah selama kamu merasa masih dapat maju.  Jangan pernah berkata kamu tidak mencintai orang itu lagi bila kamu tidak bisa membiarkannya pergi.

15 Ways To Tell If He Is The One, And How To Know You're Meant To Be

1. You feel that this man could be the one because you feel very comfortable with this man, as if you've known him for years.  And there's a lot of positive energy between you.

2. You feel that you and this man are suited to each other and are meant to be as you agree on many things such as individual values, beliefs, goals, and your phylosophy of life.

3. There's true sense of emphaty and equality between yourself and this man, and there's no feelings of inferiority or power struggles - in the relationship.

4. You're always aware of a sense of happiness, vitality, and fulfillment in the relationship, and you never seem to get tired of each other.

5. You both believe that you share some sort of special affinity and connection with each other (also outside of the bedroom) and you don't ever feel out of place together, alone, strange and everyday the physical and emotional intimacy between you just seems to grow.

6. You're always encouraging each other with mutual admiration, approval, and praise.

7. Over time, your relationship has become stronger, deeper and the more time that you spend, the more you seem to enjoy yourself, are satisfied, and your feelings for each other, as well as your passion for life just keeps increasing.

8.  There's a natural inclination and desire.  Each of you want to spend more and more time together.  Never feels like an obligation or forced.

9. You both want the relationship to progress at pretty much the same pace - but not at the expense of your individual happiness or independence.

10. You feel that you are suited to each other and are meant to be also because you've noticed that you have far less 'hicups' and intimacy problems in your relationship compared to other couples.

11. You consistenly treat each other in a warm, gracious, respectful, considerate and flexible manner.

12. It's quiet easy to overlook each other faults and foibles, as well as to ignore or quickly forgive each other's mistakes.  And there's no feelings of lingering resentment in the relationship.

13. You feel you are meant to be because you often have a mutual sense that you BELONG together (like to pieces of a jigsaw puzzle) but this isn't ever associated with a sense of ownership or control.

14. Your man is always available to you and can be counted on, vice versa.  And since you've awarded each other "number one spot", you can make sacrifices for each other without feeling like it's a major loss..

15. Your feelings of physical and sexual attraction for each other are strong, and inevitable.

Sis.. Ada yg tau tempat kursus bikin sushi di bandung gak?

Sis.. Ada yg tau tempat kursus bikin sushi di bandung gak?

Pendaftaran dan Pembagian Seragam Tk

Hari ini sudah menyelesaikan semua persyaratan pendaftaran sekolah darren.  Dan mereka juga sudah memberi sebagian seragam beserta tas sekolahnya.  Jadi semuanya sudah beres..Aku tidak merasa berhutang lagi pada Darren untuk menyekolahkan dia.  Kemarin aku sempat khawatir juga..Syukur alhamdulillah akhirnya bisa mewujudkannya.

Yang paling tidak begitu setuju adalah pemilihan warna seragamnya.  Aku tidak begitu suka dengan warna hijau.  Apalagi untuk pakaian olah raganya, duuh..ada satu yang bagus seragamnya darren, tapi warnanya kok pink ya? haduh..Pink itu kan warnanya perempuan, tapi tak apalah..itu satu-satunya seragam yang paling aku suka. Anakku akan memulai tahun ajaran barunya tanggal 11 Juli 2011 nanti.  So masih ada satu bulan lagi untuk mulai mengantarkannya sekolah lagi, membuat bento untuknya lagi, menjemputnya en so on..

Dan yang terpenting lagi satu bulan sebelum akhirnya harus bangun pkl. 5.00 pagi hari lagi.

Soul Bread#8

Ada hal yang sangat ingin kamu dengar tetapi tidak akan pernah kamu dengar dari orang yang kamu inginkan.

Tetapi jangan sampai kamu menjadi tuli walaupun kamu tidak mendengar itu dari seseorang yang mengatakan itu dari hatinya.

Aku Tahu Tak Ada Lagi Sayang Itu Untukku..

Ketika seseorang yang kau cintai mulai melangkah pergi menjauh, dan kau dapat merasakan hilangnya cinta itu darinya, yang tersisa hanyalah kehampaan.  Kehampaan disertai rasa takut hingga membuat hati mu terasa sakit.  Kau berusaha semampumu menghibur diri sendiri, mengingatkan dirimu bahwa yang bisa kau lakukan hanyalah membiarkannya.  Membiarkan segalanya terjadi, merasakan rasa sakit yang ada di hati, juga membiarkan airmata mengalir perlahan di pipi.

Mengapa kamu menangis ketika cintanya tak lagi ada untukmu? dulu kau baik-baik saja sebelum dia ada.  Mengapa kepergian cinta bisa begitu menyakitkan bagi seseorang?  Karena ketika seseorang datang ke dalam kehidupanmu, membuatmu jatuh cinta disana tumbuh sebuah ikatan, harapan-harapan baik, kebahagiaan karena merasa disayangi.  Mungkin sebagian dari kehilangan cinta ini disebabkan kesalahanmu sendiri.  Terlalu berharap, dan membodohi dirimu sendiri.

Kini cinta itu hilang, dan kau kembali sendiri.  Menangislah jika kau ingin melepas semua sesak didada, dengarkan musik indah pelipur hati.  Hiburlah dan cintai dirimu sendiri saat ini, yang kau butuhkan adalah semangat untuk bangkit lagi, menatap hari demi hari dengan ceria.  Ingatlah, patah tumbuh hilang berganti.  Selalu akan ada orang baru, cinta yang baru yang mungkin esok adalah cinta sejatimu.  Yang akan tinggal selamanya bersamamu, mengikuti langkahmu dan mengisi hari-hari hidupmu.

Jangan pernah berhenti berharap, pasrahkan semuanya di jalan Ilahi.  Dengan begitu hatimu selalu ringan, dan penuh dengan sejuta rasa optimis, bahwa hari yang baik itu akan datang indah pada waktunya.

Memories Of My Wedding Gown

Very simple..

Angels By Enya

So beautiful..just like a song for angels..

Angels, answer me,
are you near if rain should fall?
Am I to believe
you will rise to calm the storm?
For so great a treasure words will never do.
Surely, if this is, promises are mine to give you.
mine to give...


Here, all too soon the day!
Wish the moon to fall and alter tomorrow.
I should know
heaven has her way
- each one given memories to own.


Angeles, all could be
should you move both earth and sea
Angeles, I could feel
all those dark clouds disappearing...


Even, as I breathe
comes an angel to their keep.
Surely, if this is
promises are mine to give you.
mine to give...

Back To School

Hari ini aku mendaftarkan putraku Darren masuk taman kanak-kanak yang berada tidak jauh dari rumah kami.  Syukurlah sekolah ini tidak mahal, dan kurikulumnya termasuk lumayan bagus, ada belajar tari daerah, bahasa inggris dan iqra juga.  

Seragamnya pun banyak, ada lima macam, hari senin memakai pakaian polisi, selasa memakai seragam kotak, rabu seragam muslim, dll.  Gurunya pun banyak, jadi aku yakin mereka bisa mengawasi anak-anak dengan baik.  Karena jika muridnya banyak tapi gurunya hanya sedikit aku tidak yakin dengan kualitas serta pengawasan mereka terhadap masing-masing anak. 

Dalam hal memilih sekolah aku lebih melihat dari segi kualitasnya, bukan mahal atau kerennya saja.  Aku ingin anakku tumbuh menjadi anak yang berkualitas dengan landasan antara agama, budaya dan kecerdasan IQ yang seimbang. Landasan agama penting bagi darren, sebab dia adalah laki-laki dan aku ingin dia menjadi anak yang bermoral baik.  

Disamping agama, aku ingin ia menjadi anak yang berwawasan budaya, serta mengerti juga menggunakan bahasa international sejak dini yaitu bahasa Inggris.  Jaman sekarang sudah tidak jamannya lagi tidak mengerti bahasa asing.  Setiap individu seharusnya paling sedikit mampu berkomunikasi dengan bahasa Internasional supaya bisa lebih mengglobal.  Intinya dalam membesarkan anak adalah balance, keseimbangan agama, mental serta physical seorang anak. Tujuanku adalah membentuk darren menjadi anak yang sehat, bahagia lahir dan batin.

Darren senang dan sangat excited sekali bahwa dia dapat kembali kesekolah setelah sempat vakum lama dari preschoolnya.  Alhamdulillah ya Allah..Engkau mengabulkan doaku. Kau beri rezeki kepadaku untuk memberi pendidikan tambahan kepada anakku Darren.  Aku bersyukur padaMu yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.

Hikmah Sedekah

Tidak diragukan lagi, pelajaran penting dari islam atau agama yang lain mengajarkan untuk bersedekah itu adalah hal yang paling benar.  Menurut ajaran Islam, setiap umat muslim disarankan untuk melakukan sedekah atau amal.  Gunanya sebagai money laundring (bukan cuci uang dalam arti perbankan loh) tapi mensucikan harta yang kita peroleh untuk menjadikan-nya bersih serta diridhoi oleh Allah SWT.  Dari segi moral sendiri, sedekah itu adalah ungkapan rasa kasih sayang kita pada sesama, rasa ingin berbagi dan wujud dari kerendahan hati.

Dibalik sedekah ini ternyata juga ada manfaat dibaliknya.  Menurut Al-Qur'an sendiri, apabila seseorang bersedekah maka Allah akan melipat gandakan hartanya.  Ini terbukti benar!  Banyak sekali contohnya diluar sana.  Seperti salah satu keluargaku..hidup mereka semakin makmur karena mereka selalu membantu saudara, keluarga dekat serta banyak melakukan amal diluar.  

Tidak usah orang lain, dulu kami menantikan kehadiran seorang anak selama pernikahan kami.  Dulu aku selalu menyisihkan uang pendapatanku (masih hingga saat ini) untuk menjadi donatur tetap program anak asuh.  Itu kulakukan karena rasa concernku pada anak-anak yang orang tuanya tidak mampu membiayai sekolah anaknya.  Alhamdulillah, setelah tiga tahun pernikahan akhirnya aku mengandung juga.  Sekarang setelah aku pikir-pikir, mungkin rezeki yang aku idam-idamkan selama tiga tahun itu adalah karma dari sedekahku sebagai donatur orang tua asuh.  Jika bukan harta, Allah pasti akan memberi imbalan berupa rezki yang lain jika kita bersedekah dengan ikhlas.

Makanya untuk orang-orang yang tidak percaya mukjizat dengan bersedekah..ini adalah sebuah bukti nyata, bahwa dengan berbagi, maka uang yang telah kita berikan kepada orang lain akan kembali berkali-kali lipat.

Jadi yuk mari kita bersedekah, tapi jangan mengharapkan imbalan dari Allah loh..tapi dengan rasa ikhlas yang tulus.  Dengan satu syarat lain, lihat juga kemampuan kita, jika kita sendiri sedang susah..ya sedekahnya melalui hal lain, seperti membantu atau menolong orang lain, dan lain sebagainya.

How To Create A Happy And Juicy Life

You may personally know a woman who's had her fair share of trials (and many of us had them) yet somehow, she still manages to stay positive, to able to laugh and play, even live a rather satisfying and juicy life-despite having gone through some really stressful times, what's her secret?  How does she rise above the negatives in life and create personal fulfillment and happiness?

It all starts with keeping the faith.  It's also about your attitude and perspective, your resilience and determination!  And everytime we put some effort into improving our perspective, well-being and quality of life, it's like we're sowing little magical seeds.  We'll certainly be harvesting the juicy fruits later!

There's a saying that, the only thing in life that will always remain the same is change.  Change must be expected, in some form or another, in our own personal lives, we also have the power to make the necessary positive life changes - If we really want to.   You have to be willing to face change.  And, never play a victim in life.  Besides being soo unattractive, it's rather pathetic, refuse to be defeated by life and take some charge!

Even when we find ourselves in some sort of stressful or unexpected adverse situation, we can always find some solace in the fact that this particular situation can and will (with patience and determination) change.  For the better too.  So, if you're currently unhappy with your life, or some particular aspect of it, become proactive.  In otherwords, get to work on solving the problem!

Besides God, you are the architect of your own life, as well as your destiny.  You can start taking action today to live a much juicier life - a life by design perhaps.  When a woman starts to work on that place called 'self' she begins to blossom to grow, and achieve things that she may have never thought possible.

Instead of reacting negatively to life, commit to creating your life from hope and faith, by using the law of attraction and from your heart and soul, rather than worry, pessimissm or fear.  It also takes some courage to be able to find ways to improve your repertoire, and recover from your precious losses and mistakes.  But you can do it!  Where there's a will, there's a way.

And, when it comes to mistakes we've all made them.  I definitely believe that life is all about learning, trying, and failing, wining, and lossing.  Also, I believe that feeling happy can be relatively easy if you simply decide to be a much happier person than you currently are.

Interestingly, that great man Abraham Lincoln observed that most people have the choice of how happy or stressed, relaxed or troubles etc.  Their outlook happens to be.  The choice is simple really create happiness by choosing to be happy!  This is far more positive and proactive than allowing ourselves to wallow in self pity, don't you think?

Don't forget too, that a happy and peaceful woman (a 'yin' woman who has a warm and genuine smile, and smile a lot) is really, really attractive to men!  And, what man would want to be around a pessimistic, highly strung or misarable woman for very long?

But if a woman is resilient, can take the good with the bad is serene (even if she has to make some sort of effort in becoming so) is naturally optimistic and hopeful, is enthusiastic and fun-loving.  A man will much more likely want to share his happiness (and juicy life) with her!

Being grateful is also a wonderful (and helpful) attitude for a woman to have.  We have so much to be thankful for don't we?  And, let's also thank God for being alive!   Faith in a higher source is most recommended for creating happiness.

Be content with what you have.  Find acceptance.  Accept that life isn't supposed to be perfect - and you're certainly not perfect either! But behind your human imperfections can lie a great deal of courage and tenacity.

Let go of the past ( and forgive ) - this is NOW! 

Let's not forget the power of laughter! laughter is simply the best medicine for life's aches and pain's do you agree?  when things get a little bumpy, it's sometimes good to think about the things that make us laugh, as well as be prepared to regularly laugh at ourselves.  Many of us don't seem to realize that the best kind of laughter is often laughing at ourselves!

From: The art of being feminine

Love is like a piece of art work, even the smallest bit can be so beautiful.
~ Stacie Cunningham ~

Spring Garden Experiments For Children

Spring Garden Experiments for Children Berikut adalah kegiatan yang menarik untuk mengajarkan anak hobby yang baik dan bermanfaat.  Kegiatan ini sih sudah aku ajarkan kepada putraku sejak dia berumur 3 tahun.  Dan sekarang masih suka membantuku di kebun:)

Soul Bread #7

Memberikan seseorang semua cintamu tidak pernah menjamin bahwa mereka akan mencintai kamu juga!  Jangan mengharapkan cinta sebagai balasan, tunggulah sampai itu tumbuh didalam hati mereka.  Tetapi jika tidak, pastikan dia tumbuh didalam hatimu.

How Men Think

Have you ever gotten tired of trying to figure men out? It's true -- women are from Venus, and men are from Mars. But there IS a way to bring the gender gap back down to Earth!   Do men frustrate you?

Do you spend most of your alone time trying to figure them out?  Do some of the things they do annoy you to no end?  It's true -- men DO think very differently from us. And yes, it's frustrating that we sometimes have to go so far out of our way to connect with them!

But unfortunately, it's exactly these misunderstandings and misconceptions that ruin relationships. Yes, men think differently. But when you try to convince them to think like you, it's a recipe for disaster.

When you try to change the way he acts, thinks, and feels, that's when problems start!  Here's the quick gist of this article -- DON'T assume that men think (or should think) like you.  Believe me, I've met many women who complained to me, "Alex, if he only listened to me, and if he only followed the things I told him to do, we'd still be in a relationship right now!"

Sorry, that's not how things work. And in today's article, we'll discuss some of the more important differences between men and women.  Because when you know how men think when it comes to love and relationships, you'll avoid a LOT of the most common relationship-ending problems!  Let's start with a simple fact:

MEN ARE SIMPLE!

I hate to admit it, but yes, we DO tend to over-complicate things sometimes.  When something happens in our lives, we tend to ask "why." We sometimes spend hours asking "why!"

When things are getting stressful at work, we think, "Why are things getting stressful? Does someone hate me? Do I need to hire a shrink or a business coach?"

Sometimes we put even the smallest things under the microscope. When we wake up with dark circles under our eyes, we think, "Why do I have eyebags? Am I sick? Do I need to sleep more? Do I have to change my diet? Will the world really end before Christmas next year?"  I exaggerate, but you get the idea!

Men, on the other hand, don't do that.  They don't over-analyze. Their thought patterns are actually much simpler than you think!  If they're stressed out at work, they de-stress.

They sleep, they go out for a few drinks, they play video games, they surf for photos of beautiful women.  If they wake up with dark circles under their eyes, they wear them proudly. They try to look as best they can anyway, then troop to work.

When their co-workers and friends ask them about their eyebags, they joke, "Seen Kung Fu Panda? These are signs of awesomeness.  So how does this new bit of knowledge help you?

Here's an idea. The next time a guy gives you a gift, don't ask why. Don't over-analyze. Don't look for the "hidden, sinister reason" behind the gift.  He might just really like you. Simple, right? Here's the second funny fact about men:

MEN CAN'T MULTITASK.

They can't! While we can all at once think about work, the home, our friends, our hobbies, and whether or not Haley Reinhart deserved the boot in American Idol, men tend to focus on one thing at a time. It's like they were hard-wired by Mother Nature to do one thing, then move on to the next.

Ever noticed that he zones out when he's driving, or strolling, or working on his laptop? And ever notice how he sometimes sighs in exasperation when you break his concentration?

Nope, he's not mad at you -- it's just his normal reaction to getting jarred out of the way Mother Nature designed him to think!

Unfortunately, some women ask, "What's wrong?" and "I know something's wrong, why won't you tell me?" and "So that's your game, huh? You express your exasperation without telling me why? Well, two can play this game."

Don't make that mistake. I know we don't really mean it when we say "I'm okay." But when he says he's okay, trust me -- he's OKAY!  Now let's move on to something a little more serious...

FOR MEN, LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH.

For us, if we love him, and if he loves us back, then that's enough to start a new relationship. Unfortunately, men don't think that way.  Love is just one of the factors he considers when he's looking for a life partner -- there are many others!

For instance, a man also looks at your personality, your background, your work, your goals, and your dreams (among!). He's going to see if you'd be a good fit in his own life.  That's why if he realizes you're the type who wants to change him "for the better," you're in trouble!

Does he see you as an easy woman to deal with? Can he help you reach your goals and dreams? Will he want to? Will you fit well into his life, and even improve it?

Those are some of the important questions that every man asks, so don't make the mistake of thinking "all you need is love!"  And here's another bombshell...

MEN APPRECIATE RESPECT MORE THAN LOVE

Another side-effect of the "all you need is love" misconception is this... Do men need love? Yes. But love isn't enough!They want something deeper, something they appreciate more than just love. They want to feel like they're the MAN in the relationship -- strong, determined, and in charge.  In other words, they want your RESPECT!

They want to feel respected by the woman in their lives. If you don't (or can't) respect them, then they won't love you.  They need your support. They need your trust. They look for your femininity -- something his friends could never offer.

Unfortunately, many of us make the mistake of thinking men need the same things we do. And that's why we get frustrated when, even if we shower them with tons of love, they don't seem to love us back.

If we only knew that they appreciated respect a bit more, then we wouldn't be so frustrated -- and our relationships would go much more smoothly! See? When you understand the male mind, you avoid tons of the problems that most other women encounter in their love lives!  Finally, let's talk about the last hard-to-believe fact about men:

MEN DON'T LISTEN TO CRITICISM.

Every wondered why men don't listen to you when you nag them, or when you offer "constructive criticism?"  It's simply because they don't take well to any criticism AT ALL!

We women listen to criticism well, and we sometimes expect men to do the same. Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Men take criticism badly. When they're criticized, they feel incompetent.

And instead of trying to fix the problem, they tend to put some distance between you.  Do you really want that?

So instead of criticizing him, heap praises on him whenever he does something you like. He'll respond much more warmly, and will take steps to improve himself, by himself.  No nagging required!

Mutiara Dalam Lumpur

Don't judge the book by it's cover.  Hari Kamis lalu pada acara Kick Andy, ada seorang bintang tamunya yang bernama Iwan..uhm siapa ya nama panjangnya, aku lupa.  Tapi Iwan ini ternyata adalah sesosok pria yang memiliki karakter luar biasa.  Dari segi tampang, wajahnya pas-pasan, hitam, mas-mas jawa, kecil, tapi kepribadiannya membuat aku kagum sekali padanya.  Apa sih yang menarik dari orang ini?

Waktu di wawancara oleh Andy di Metro Tv, Iwan ini bercerita tentang kisah hidupnya dari hanya seorang anak miskin hingga dia menjadi orang yang sukses.  Lulusan IPB yang berhasil memiliki karir tertinggi di sebuah perusahaan besar di New York.  Yang aku kagumi dari pria ini adalah, ketika dia melepaskan jabatannya untuk kembali ke tanah air dan memilih untuk meniti karir dengan tujuan touching people sebagai motivator.  Dia membagikan pengalaman-pengalamannya bagaimana cara dia meraih kesuksesan dengan modal tekad yang kuat serta kerja kerasnya.  Hebaat!  Ini dia nih seorang Alpha male sejati.

Kenapa bagiku dia adalah Alpha male sejati? Pertama, dia sangat menghormati dan mengagumi ibunya, yang konon menurutnya berani menjual angkot satu-satunya tempat mereka bergantung rezeki untuk kehidupan sehari-hari mereka demi membiayai Iwan sekolah di IPB.  Yang kedua, Iwan ini adalah orang yang bertanggung jawab, tahu diri, rajin, tekun, dan pekerja keras.  Dia berusaha membuktikan dirinya ke orang tuanya bahwa dia dapat dipercaya dan berhasil.  Terbukti ketika dia ditawari kerja di Milles New York, dia berkarir dari bawah hingga mencapai posisi direktur dan akhirnya memutuskan untuk pulang ke tanah air.  Bukan hanya segudang sifat positif yang tadi sudah aku sebut, dia juga memiliki hati yang baik.  

Kedudukan dan posisi tinggi tidak pernah membuatnya sombong, atau arogan.  Dia tetap humble, dan memiliki cita-cita yang mulia yaitu "touch people" dengan menjadi motivator dari satu radio ke radio, universitas, televisi dan sebagainya.  Meskipun pendapatan yang dia capai turun drastis dari yang pernah dia dapatkan, tapi baginya kepuasan tertinggi itu adalah berbuat sesuatu untuk lingkungannya dan manusia lain.

Pesan moral yang bisa aku petik dari orang ini adalah, bahwa ketika sukses sudah diraih seseorang, ingatlah untuk selalu melihat kebawah.  Berbuat apa yang bisa dia berikan untuk orang lain dan lingkungannya, bekerja keras dan yakin bahwa dia mampu meraih kesuksesan dengan cara fokus.  Even though you are on the top of the threes, don't look up..because when you look up, you'll become greedy.  Instead, look down..to become humble. 

Satu lagi yang paling penting kesimpulan untuk diriku sendiri, juga para ibu-ibu yang sedang mencari belahan jiwanya, Looks can fool you!  Tampan, atau ganteng bukan jaminan seseorang memiliki kualitas the alpha male.  Kualitas dari seorang pria itu adalah inner beautynya, pria seperti Iwan ini adalah mutiara dalam lumpur.  Dari luar dia sama sekali tidak terlihat menarik, tapi dari dalam hatinya seperti mutiara.  Pokoknya hebat deh..Udah punya istri belum ya, mau daftar hehehe...

Pesanku untuk menjadi the Alpha male..be humble, low profile, hard works, good intentions, family oriented, responsible, and caring!

Are You The Alpha Male?

Apakah Anda termasuk the Alpha Male? Check this out! 10 Signs You're Not An Alpha Male

Seinfeld..Newman Is Funny

The Best Break Up Make Up Ever

Hahaha..this is one of my fave comedy show "Seinfeld"

Fatal Mistakes In Relationships

Are you a good lover? Are you in a great relationship right now? Or are you still single and lonely, despite your best efforts? You might be making a few critical mistakes in your approach
to love and relationship! Let me get a few things straight, because I've received a few rude e-mails lately...

NO, I'm not a man, and NO, I'm not teaching women how to be "doormats" in their relationships, and NO, I don't believe women are the weaker sex. Believe it! But let's face it. Why DO our
relationships go bad too soon?

As much as I hate to admit it, we simply make a few critical mistakes here and there in our relationships.  And even if these mistakes seem tiny, they're enough to sabotage our love lives and make us feel miserable and bitter!

Don't believe me? Then here are 7 of the most common, yet most damaging, mistakes that we women make in our dating lives. I've seen women make these mistakes over and over, and I've seen the damage they do.

If fixing these mistakes makes you feel like a "doormat," then I'm sorry for you.  I really am. Why? Because sometimes, we have to be doormats in the short-term to enjoy the rest of the mansion in the long-term.  Now that THAT'S out of the way, let's move on to the first mistake!

MISTAKE #1 - CHASING AFTER MEN

Some of us go out there and actively look for boyfriends.  The moment we meet someone who shows the slightest bit of interest in us, we immediately show our "feelings," too. And we do our best to make the relationship official as soon as possible.  Why is this a mistake? Simple.  If you chase after men, they run away!

If they're not 100% ready to have you as their girlfriend just yet, and you try to push the issue, trust me -- they're going to think, "On second thought, maybe not."  So don't rush!

Don't make men change their minds about you. Don't chase them. Don't rush into relationships. The best relationships out there start much more naturally.  Besides, chasing is THEIR job -- not
yours!

MISTAKE #2 - MAKING THE CONFESSION

Let me say that again -- it's the MAN'S job to chase the woman. Make sure not to mix it up!  And on the same note, it's the MAN'S job to confess his feelings to you.  But very unfortunately, too many of us make the role-reversal, and end up confessing OUR feelings to him. Oops!

Take me for example. In different stages in my life, I've had several male best friends.  And I've made the mistake of falling in love with many of them, and I've made the even BIGGER mistake of confessing my feelings to them!  I thought it would make the transition from "best friend" to
"boyfriend" easier for them. But no-- in the end, I lost my best friends, and I ended up single and lonely. Again! Bottom line? DON'T make the confession! Again, it's HIS job.

Besides, wouldn't it be better if you used all that energy to turn yourself into a better woman -- someone who could make the men around her WANT to confess their feelings to her?  Hold that thought as we move to the next mistake!

MISTAKE #3 - NOT GOING OUT THERE

Some of us actually do the exact opposite of chasing after men.  Some of us don't go out there at all! We don't meet new men, we don't show up at dates, and we stick to a (very) small circle of friends.

Sometimes, it's because we're afraid of rejection. Other times, it's because we believe "the right man will come at the right time." And unfortunately, both beliefs lead to the same thing -- a very lonely love life!

I'm not saying you should go out and chase men. (Remember Mistake #1?) I'm saying that you miss 100% of the chances you don't take! So learn to go out there. Make yourself available. Meet new people and make new friends. You'll see the improvement in your love life almost instantly.

MISTAKE #4 - THINKING ALL MEN ARE THE SAME

Do you think all men are the same?

If you do, then I'm willing to bet that you've had a few bad relationships in the past -- ones that ended the same miserable way, without fail.  Still, I don't think that's an excuse to think all men are the same. After all, what about the good ones out there?

Sure, a good (or bad, whichever way you look at it) majority of men out there isn't ready to handle a relationship.  But you shouldn't dismiss ALL men as "jerks" or "only after one thing."

Do you really want to miss the few great single guys who come your way? not, then keep an open mind!

MISTAKE #5 - HAVING STANDARDS THAT ARE TOO HIGH

I once had a friend who wanted a high-quality boyfriend.  She wanted someone who made six digits a year, who was tall, lean, and handsome, who was understanding and who would love
her for who she was.  I had to bite my lip while she was talking to me. My friend had an entry-level job (which she hated), was gaining weight, and was rather lazy and stand-offish.

And, as you might have guessed, she's been single for a LONG time.  Don't get me wrong -- it's good to have high standards.  Just make sure YOU can match up to your own standards! Otherwise, you'll be setting yourself up for a LOT of disappointment. Trust me.

MISTAKE #6 - NAGGING

Sorry, ladies! I know how natural nagging may come to us. But trust me, it does little to make our relationships better.  In fact, nagging actually makes them WORSE...

Sure, we may have good intentions when we nag. But we also have good intentions when we try to correct a bratty kid... When you've reached your boiling point around a brat, we tend to say things like, "Stop being a brat!"

But guess what? The more you nag the kid, the brattier it gets!  Back to men. If you want your man to love you more, then don't nag him too much. Instead, praise him more than you nag him!

If he's a good man, you can bet he's working very, very hard to make the relationship a happy place.  He'll need your support. Will you give it to him?

MISTAKE #7 - NOT LOOKING FOR HELP

Finally, many women make the mistake of NOT looking for help when they're unhappy.  That's why we make the other six mistakes over and over and over in our relationships.  And that's why many of us are still single and miserable!

Don't fall into a downward spiral. Get help! Talk with your friends. Meet couples who are leading great relationships, and don't be shy to ask a few questions.  And, of course, you can keep reading my books and articles, too! The key is to admit you need help, get the right advice, and then act! Want to make a bold, unstoppable act right now?

Georgy Porgy by Toto

How To Recognise A Soulmate

Based on a solid foundation of love, respect and friendship each soulmate understands and accept the other disposition and moods, as well as understands, accept and appreciates the others personality and character to the highest degree.  In other words, it feels like it was meant to be.  A soulmate also totally accepts you as you are - the good along with the not so good.

This true acceptance of each other also means that they don't have this great urge to change each other.  it's also understanding and accepting that no one is perfect and the negative aspects  in an individual's personality is just part of being human.  However, that being said there is no unhealthy manipulation, control or abuse in a soulmate relationship.

Each half of the soulmate couple boosts the other self-esteem, challanges each other and spurs each other on to greater success in life.  There's so much familiarity and things just seem to flow naturally, as they live, explore and relish life together.  However, life still won't be without it's occasional problems and challanges, yet despite this fact, a soulmate relationship will still be quiet easy, blissful and rewarding.  This blissful union comes not only from being compatible with each other on many important levels but from also being dissimilar in the right kind of ways.  Soulmates are certainly not 'mirror images' to each other ( and how boring would that be).  

Of course having a spiritual soulmate is a far superior to just having an 'average' boyfriend or husband, and having a spiritual soulmate is far more than just friendship and sexual fulfillment.  You are literally one and can experiences your own 'paradise' together.

A soulmate is 100% honest with you and can communicate with you.  Another way to recognize your true soulmate is he trully listens to what you have to say and gives you feedback.  A soulmate also understands you and encourages you.  Not long after meeting your soulmate, you'll notice that he wants to trully get to know you and understand what makes you tick.  He'll definitely not just be talking about himself.  He'll also get quiet excited about your success and feel glad about the new things you learn and discover.

This man understands what you really do need, as well as senses what your deepest feelings and desires are.  He actually seems to 'get' you - to the very center of your being.  So only this particular man can trully satisfy you and help you to become the very best woman you can possibly be!

Your soulmate conterpart really does help to make you more 'complete'.  Even though we can be whole in ourselves without a 'significant other' with a soulmate counterpart we'll be able to significantly grow in knowledge, awarness, wisdom, and intimacy-together.

Each half of the soulmate pair seems to fill a sphere especially when each understands, encourages and bringsout the best in each other.  More than just a boyfriend or husband, a soulmate will effortlessly see the unique beauty in you and gladly put you as the number one human being in his life - as his priority.

A soulmate boyfriend or husband support your choices and constantly shows you altruistic (unselfish) love.  He has a real capacity to love and support you.  He's generous with his entire being not just with his material possessions, but with his love, care, attentions, time, affection etc.  And he'll love and adore you passionately.  A soulmate won't be afraid to explore the deeper types of feelings with their significant other and they'll also laugh and cry together.  He'll also stimulate your mind and emotions, satisfy and fulfill you in so many ways.

If these things are not a part of the relationship you currently have, then you're not soulmate.  So..Is he my soulmate..?

Hot chocoginger

Dari siang Bandung di guyur hujan..seperti biasa menjelang sore ketika hujan turun, udara dingin, perutku mulai menagih untuk di isi.  Seperti alarm yang bilang, "ayo dong gi..ini waktunya kamu ngemil dan minum sesuatu kan?"  Minum teh panas..ah tadi pagi sudah, enaknya sih minum bandrek, tapi tukang bandrek sudah lewat..hmm..oh iya akukan punya minuman cokelat dan jahe wangi instan!  Apa ya rasanya jika cokelat dicampur dengan jahe instan?  coba ah..eh ternyata enak! hangat dan manisnya oke tuh..

Sambil minum chocolat hangat, aku chatting dengan temanku..biasa..bergosip sedikit:)

Sahabatku Yang Sedang Patah Hati

Sahabat wanitaku sedang patah hati, dan sudah satu minggu dia mencoba untuk meninggalkan kekasih nya yang berada sangat jauh di luar kota.  Sahabatku ini benar-benar sedang stress berat, dia bertanya padaku berulang-ulang sambil menangis mengenai bagaimana cara melupakan pria yang dia cintai, dan yang sudah membuatnya kecewa itu.  Mendengar dia menangis sedih seperti itu, aku tersentuh dengan apa yang dia rasakan, dan mataku pun turut berkaca-kaca.  Sambil memberinya nasihat panjang lebar, aku sarankan agar dia dapat mencari kesibukan bagi kebahagian dirinya sendiri.

Hari ini dia mengirim pesan teks padaku, tentang kegiatan apa saja yang sahabatku lakukan demi mengurangi pikirannya ke mantan kekasih prianya.  Mulai dari membersihkan rumah, memasak, hingga berjalan-jalan ke laut. Aku bergurau dengannya melalui sms aku bilang, "kalau perempuan sedang patah hati, rumah pun menjadi bersih ya say..hihihi".  Perempuan yang sedang putus cinta biasanya rela melakukan apapun untuk berusaha melupakan segala sesuatu yang berkaitan dengan mantan kekasihnya, termasuk rasa sakit hatinya.  

Kami pun akan selalu berusaha menyibukkan diri, termasuk membereskan rumah hingga ke sudut-sudut yang tidak terjangkau sekalipun.  Lucunya lagi, setelah kami selesai melakukan kegiatan-kegiatan tadi, akhirnya kami saling berkirim pesan teks lagi, "ngapain lagi ya sekarang..gue udah selesai nih..sekarang bengong, ngapain lagi donk?"  hehehe.. Sebisa mungkin kami mencari jalan untuk tetap sibuk, sibuk dan sibuk sehingga tidak ada waktu lengang untuk berdiam diri yang biasanya hanya akan membuat pikiran kita teringat-ingat lagi pada sang mantan.

Putus cinta itu memang tidak mudah.  Kita telah terbiasa berkomunikasi dengan pacar kita setiap hari, dan si dia juga sudah mengisi hati kita yang kosong selama itu.  Terkadang perempuan memang lemah juga sih, kalau sudah rinduuu..yang ada wekdut, alias mewek hehehe..Terbayang deh bagaimana rasa sakitnya jika kita harus putus dengan orang yang kita cintai.  Dalam sebuah hubungan, yang namanya perempuan harus pintar menggunakan otak dan hatinya, supaya tidak mudah tertipu oleh pria.  

Pria dapat mengatakan sejuta kata-kata manis yang tak bermakna jika itu hanya sekedar kata, dan bukan tindakan yang pasti dan nyata.  Jika ternyata kita sadar, bahwa kita hanya dimanfaatkan, jangan ragu untuk pergi dan keluar dari hubungan tersebut.  Jika dia tidak benar-benar mencintaimu, kamu pasti akan tahu.

Owh ndut sahabatku..semoga kamu tetap kuat ya..jangan sampai patah semangat okay bu..Inget, mending kita fokus aja dengan bisnis kitaa.  Kalau kita punya uang nanti, kita jalan-jalan keliling dunia seperti yang pernah kita khayalkan dulu hihihi..semangat yaa!