Pria Yang Baik Itu..

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak akan pernah pergi meninggalkannya karena perbedaan prinsip

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya akan menerima dan memikirkan kata-kata baik yang wanitanya katakan.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak akan marah atau bahkan menghinanya dibelakang.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya pasti mempertimbangkan matang-matang kedewasaan dirinya demi hubungan baik dengan wanitanya.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak akan berubah perasaannya meskipun wanitanya menjadi diri sendiri.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak akan pernah mengkhianatinya atau berniat menduakannya.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak akan pernah membohongi wanitanya. Ia bertindak sesuai dengan perasaan dan hatinya, jujur menjadi dirinya sendiri.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya akan mampu membimbing wanitanya ke arah kebaikan, memimpin wanitanya kepada jalan menuju keimanan.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya menghargai serta menghormati wanita, siapapun dia, baik itu temannya, saudaranya, maupun pembantunya sekalipun.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya bersikap lembut diluar dan juga didalam jiwanya.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak egois, ia memperhatikan perasaan dan kebutuhan terdalam wanita yang dia cintai.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya akan memperlakukan wanitanya seperti seorang ratu, tapi tidak memanjakannya.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak pelit, ia adalah pengayom bagi istri dan anak2nya.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya akan selalu mendampingi dan melindungi wanitanya dalam keadaan susah maupun senang, sakit ataupun sehat, miskin ataupun kaya.

Seorang pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya tidak serakah.  Ia akan menafkahi anak serta istrinya dengan uang yang bersih hasil keringat serta kerja kerasnya, tidak suka memanipulasi orang lain, serta adil.

Dan yang paling utama dari segalanya adalah, pria yang baik dan mencintai wanitanya adalah dia yang takut dan mencintai Tuhannya yaitu Allah SWT.

The Rules and Playing Mind Games With Men

Ini pengetahuan penting sekali untukku..bahwa dalam sebuah relationship memang sudah sepatutnya menjadi diri sendiri. Lakukan apa yang aku inginkan dan berani mengekspresikannya.
The Rules and Playing Mind Games With Men

Have you ever been dumped?

I mean DUMPED. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who just suddenly decided, for reasons you will never understand, that he had to leave?  It can be one of the most heart-wrenching things a person could ever face.

Being dumped slams you right in the middle of your self-esteem   It makes you question everything about yourself.  The worst part is that without any reason why he left, you always feel like it was YOUR fault.  That's NOT fair!

But there is always a reason why a man leaves. The trick lies in figuring out what the reasons were.  He might not tell you this. Maybe he's not sure, or he just doesn't want to talk about it.  That's why WE are going to talk about it. Right now.

REASON #1: HE WAS UNHAPPY.

Every relationship goes through that phase after the honeymoon is over. You know the one!  At first you are so happy that you can't stop smiling. You are walking on air. You want to learn everything you can about the new love of your life.  But fast-forward a few months, and those endearing quirks are now getting on your nerves.

Those in relationships that last will simply accept this. It is a sign that you are moving forward into a more fulfilling place. You are finding the not-so-sweet side of your partner.  If you can accept those things, you can move forward into a healthy place.

But some men cling to the honeymoon phase. They want it to be good, very good, all the time. When they run into the first roadblock, they get unhappy.  They think that by removing themselves from the relationship, they will be happy again.

They might be. That means they did the right thing.  But they might not be - which means they will probably want to come back.

REASON #2: HE GOT SCARED.

It isn't just brides at the altar who get cold feet. Sometimes people get scared long before they get there!  Most men are not ready to commit. They might WANT to commit, and they might give it a good try, but deep down they are too scared to take it to the next level.

So when things start to get serious, they back off. When things start to seem like they might last long term, they get scared.  They WANT to commit. They just don't know HOW to commit.  Moving away from things that scare us is human nature. Men get scared, and they want to leave.

REASON #3: HE HATES PRESSURE.

Men hate being told what to do.  For a man, being told what to do equals pressure. It means they are no longer in charge of their own lives.  That will make them push back against the pressure, and refuse to do what you want them to do.  If they are going to do something, they want to feel as though it was THEIR idea!

Women go into relationships looking for the fairy tale. They want to have the commitment, the marriage, the kids and the white picket fence.  Men go into relationships looking to change as little about their lives as possible.  So when we want something, we might ask for it. Over and over. Women see this as reasonable, but men see it as – you guessed it! - nagging.  He eventually wants to get rid of the pressure. The only way he sees to do that is to leave.

REASON #4: HE HATES OUTSIDE INFLUENCES.

This is a really sad reason for a relationship to end, but it happens all the time.  He might love you. He might adore you like he has never adored anyone else. He might even want to spend the rest of his life with you.  But there is someone in your life - maybe a sibling, or your mother, or a best friend - that he simply cannot STAND.

In a perfect world, everyone would get along. Everyone would see how happy you are and manage to be nice to each other, no matter what they thought about the people around you.  But the world is not perfect. Even if your man goes above and beyond to please, and even if your family members and friends try VERY hard, they still might not be able to get along.  And that can spell true disaster.

A man knows when he is not wanted. He knows where he is not welcome.  man will try to get out of a situation that makes everyone uncomfortable. Wouldn't you do the same if the tables were turned?

REASON #5: HE WANTS TO LOOK ELSEWHERE.

Sometimes a man wants to see what else is out there. It hurts worse than any of the other reasons, and he knows that -so that's why he doesn't tell you truth.  What is the truth? It's this:

He was looking for something that he simply didn't find with you. He is still searching for THE ONE and he doesn't think you are that person.  Here's more truth:

Just because he wants something different does NOT mean there is anything wrong with you!  In fact - though it might be hard to see it at the time - this guy has done you a favor. He has set you free to find a man who truly wants YOU.  There is a perfect someone out there for you. You are now free to find him!

UNDERSTAND AND MOVE ON

Not knowing the reasons for a breakup can hold you back. You might be afraid to give it another shot.  It is like riding a horse.  One day you might get thrown from the saddle. The tumble hurts. It scares you. That was a long way down!

But the best way to overcome the fear is to get right back on the horse. But before you do, ask yourself what happened.  Were you too hard on the reins?  Was there something on the ground that scared your horse?  What happened to cause the tumble?

Once you know, you can fix it. You can get back on the horse with a wiser perspective.  This time, you will keep your seat. This time, you will be okay.  Relationships are the same way. You have to understand why you got thrown from the saddle. You have to see the reasons WHY he left before you can let it go.

When you see the reasons why, then you can let go of the idea that it was YOUR fault.   And you will believe me when I say: It was NOT your fault!  There is a man out there who wants to be with you. There is a man in this world who will give you all of his heart and fall madly in love with you.

That man will not leave! It's time to get out there and find him.

Things To Say To A Guy

Be smart..why? so when you meet a hot guy somewhere you can never running out of ideas to talked about..Things To Say To a Guy

A Healthy Relationship

I asked him what his definition of a healthy relationship is...this is what he shared:

#1 - The primary hallmark of a healthy relationship is having the experience of emotional and physical safety with our partner. They are reliable and predictable and we don’t feel any fear or anxiety around them.

#2 - We have an experience of deep connection with them.

#3 - When you are with your partner you feel joyfully alive or relaxed into joyfulness.

As you set your intentions around manifesting a soulmate, you may want to consciously decide that you will feel safe, deeply connected and joyfully alive with your beloved.

Fatal Mistakes In Relationship part 2

Do you keep making the same mistakes over and over? Do things seem to be going great and then suddenly it all crashes and burns?   It's time to stop sabotaging yourself.

Yes, you heard me right. It's time to take control of your love life!  And taking control starts with you.

We all make mistakes. You make them. I make them. When it comes to love, sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over! Why do we do that? You would think that once we make a mistake, we would learn from it.

But relationships are tricky. It takes two to tango-and it takes two to break up. So we can often see those fatal love mistakes as our partner's fault. Or maybe we are too blinded by the hurt of

the loss to see what we've done wrong.  Let me help you stay away from those mistakes!

You can prevent history from repeating itself. It starts with a long, hard and honest look at your past. Are you guilty of these love mistakes?  If you are, now is the time to change it!

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #1: MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL

Men hate drama. They avoid it like the plague.

When there is a tiny issue that gets blown into a very BIG issue, men tend to back away as cautiously as possible. They see the drama like a rattlesnake about to strike. It's time to get away before things get worse!

Making a small issue into a big deal can be a serious mistake. It takes your mind away from the important things. Why focus on something that won't matter next week?  Let the little things go. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on the big picture.

You will be much happier, and guess what? A happier you means a happier relationship!

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #2: GIVING UP TOO SOON

Every relationship has tough times.  It's going to happen. It might take years, but there will almost certainly be a rough patch.  There will be tears. There might be arguments. There might be long days of silence.  But that doesn't spell the end!  Remember that "tough" doesn't mean

OVER.

Remember that "rough" doesn't mean BAD.  Too many women make the mistake of thinking that a really bad fight means it is time to go their separate ways. They throw in the towel before the game is over!

Have you ever had a moment of despair? When you thought things were too far gone to fix? What did you do? Sometimes things really do get that bad, and it's time to walk away. But

don't let that happen the first moment you have a fight. Don't let the first rough patch spell disaster! It's a serious love mistake that you might not be able to take back.

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #3: LOSING THE MYSTERY

Have you ever had a man head-over-heels in love with you? But then one day he started to lose

interest. He just wasn't as attracted to you anymore.  Then you had the "It's not you, it's me" talk. He wanted to date other people.  What HAPPENED?

Maybe the mystery was gone.  Men love the chase. They love trying to figure you out. They love discovering something new about you. It reminds them of when you first met!

If a man knows everything about you, he no longer has a reason to find out more.  Avoid this mistake by holding on to the mystery. Let him figure you out! Let him play the game of getting to know you at his own speed. Let him have the fun of enjoying you.  It's like opening a present. He wants to savor the anticipation.  You should savor it, too.

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #4: LETTING HIM RUN THE SHOW

Let's face it: We all love the alpha male. Women are drawn to strong men who know exactly what they want. It's in our nature to be attracted to a confident and sure man.  But that doesn't mean we should be wallflowers!

Too many times we let ourselves become "Yes" women. We say yes to whatever dinner he wants, whatever movie he wants to see, or whatever he wants to do on Friday night.

We say "yes" to things that we don't like, simply to make him happy.  That's a serious mistake! Men love the challenge, remember? A woman who says "yes" all the time is not a challenge. She's simply someone who lets him have his way!

Avoid this mistake by standing up for yourself.  That doesn't mean you have to argue. It doesn't mean you have to insist on going left when he wants to go right.

It simply means that you should have your own opinions. Voice them! Don't do what he wants simply to keep the peace.  Men like to be in control. But they also like a strong woman with a mind of her own.  You're that woman! So don't hide behind the word "yes" anymore.

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #5: HOLDING ONTO OLD MISTAKES

We all have baggage. We can't help it. It's human nature.  But dragging our old baggage into our

new relationship is a recipe for failure.  Let me give you a scenario:

You meet this great new guy. He's wonderful! But he has an ex who really burned him.  That ex did something terrible.  Something that deserved a breakup.  Something that will draw really BAD karma.  But let's say that your new guy keeps blaming YOU for what SHE did.

He doesn't trust you. He expects you to stray. He keeps waiting for bad things to happen.  Not a good feeling, huh? That's what you do to a man when you bring the baggage from your previous

relationship into the new one. You set him up for failure, no matter how great he is! Old baggage is a no-no. Toss it overboard!

FATAL LOVE MISTAKE #6: TRYING TO BE EVERYTHING

This is something we all do, whether we are in a relationship or not. How many times have you tried to be everything to everyone?  Have you tried so hard to please that you exhausted yourself?  Have you tried to look perfect? Act in a certain way? Talk about certain things?

Have you tried to be perfect for someone, only to find that you didn't like who you became? Take charge NOW and stop trying to be everything!  It's something every woman does. You know you've done it. I admit I have done it, too.

 The thought of being Superwoman is a nice one. But Superwoman is NOT REAL! She is pure fiction. A woman who can do everything and BE everything is pure fiction, too!  Get comfortable with yourself. You are good enough.  You are everything he needs, just as you are.

You ARE enough!

Are you ready to fix those mistakes and move into a healthier place?

Cewek Pasif (Moga2 Aku Bukan Tipe Seperti Ini)

Wahh..ada sebuah sentilan dari teman trainerku untuk para ladies nih..begini katanya:

"Wanita sejati menjaga harga dirinya dengan kesantunan dan keramahan, bukan dengan jual mahal dan gengsi selangit."

"Yang namanya ngobrol itu dua arah. Nanya balik dong! Apa susahnya sih nanya balik? Duh, sebel bener gue sm yg model bgini.."

"Serius deh girls, nanya balik GAK AKAN bikin kamu keliatan murahan, agresif, ato ngasih harapan. Nanya balik itu NORMAL!?"

"Ayo yg cowok, coba ceritain pengalaman ngobrol sm cewek yg gak pernah nanya balik.. gimana rasanya?
 Kapok? Penasaran?"

Tuh kata teman ku jangan diem aja kalo diajak ngobrol..tapi gimana kalo cowoknya yang tidak pernah balik bertanya ya?

"Wanita bagaikan sebuah puzzle, kamu gak akan bisa mengenalnya utuh sebelum menyelesaikan puzzle-nya."

Tuh..jadi sebagai perempuan, kalo ngobrol berusahalah menghargai orang lain..tapi, ini ada pertanyaan dariku bagaimana jika sebaliknya.  Si cowok yang ngomong terus sementara dia jarang bertanya balik mengenai kita? He want's all the attention to him? hmm..

Keterbukaan Kunci Penting Sebuah hubungan

 Ini nih kata-kata bijaknya si temanku relationship trainer itu:

Yang bikin romansa jd ribet: kedua belah pihak sulit untuk mengutarakan isi hatinya secara blak-blakan. Jujur sala, boong salah.

It's About Looks Cool Just For Guys by Kei

Ceritanya ada cewek yang bilang, pria yang menarik adalah yang cool n moody.  Tapi apa kata temanku si relationship trainer Kei berikut ini:

• Kalo emang guanteng, diem cool gak usah ngomong jg dah menarik perhatian. Kalo tampang biasa, diem cool siapa yg nyadar kamu ada?

• Kalo tampang dan bodi pas2an, belagak cool dan moody cuma bakal bikin kamu keliatan kayak lg sakit gigi. Don't do that!

•  Silakan bergaya cool atau moody kalo kamu emang seganteng Nicholas Saputra atau Christian Sugiono. Kalo gak, coolkas kaliii..

Tuhh hihihi..makanya jangan sok cool, biasa saja deh..

Act like A Lady Think Like A Man

Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man Steve Harvey

View more documents from guestdea30d

The Types of Woman Men Want To Date-Are You The One?

Ini tipe-tipe wanita yang jadi incaran pria-pria.  Aku tipe yang mana ya?The Types Of Women Men Want To Date 

1. Miss Sweet, miss sweet is a woman who's positive, content with her life, always upbeat - and just a blast to be around.  She's a genuine person without a bitch bone in her body.  She's always trully happy to see you and you find yourself looking forward to spending time with her.  Miss sweet are usually snapped up out of the dating market right away, so they're pretty rare.  But if you can find one, you,ve got a real treasure on your hands.  You can read more in the link mention above..

How Men Think

Have you ever gotten tired of trying to figure men out? It's true -- women are from Venus, and men are from Mars. But there IS a way to bring the gender gap back down to Earth!   Do men frustrate you?

Do you spend most of your alone time trying to figure them out?  Do some of the things they do annoy you to no end?  It's true -- men DO think very differently from us. And yes, it's frustrating that we sometimes have to go so far out of our way to connect with them!

But unfortunately, it's exactly these misunderstandings and misconceptions that ruin relationships. Yes, men think differently. But when you try to convince them to think like you, it's a recipe for disaster.

When you try to change the way he acts, thinks, and feels, that's when problems start!  Here's the quick gist of this article -- DON'T assume that men think (or should think) like you.  Believe me, I've met many women who complained to me, "Alex, if he only listened to me, and if he only followed the things I told him to do, we'd still be in a relationship right now!"

Sorry, that's not how things work. And in today's article, we'll discuss some of the more important differences between men and women.  Because when you know how men think when it comes to love and relationships, you'll avoid a LOT of the most common relationship-ending problems!  Let's start with a simple fact:

MEN ARE SIMPLE!

I hate to admit it, but yes, we DO tend to over-complicate things sometimes.  When something happens in our lives, we tend to ask "why." We sometimes spend hours asking "why!"

When things are getting stressful at work, we think, "Why are things getting stressful? Does someone hate me? Do I need to hire a shrink or a business coach?"

Sometimes we put even the smallest things under the microscope. When we wake up with dark circles under our eyes, we think, "Why do I have eyebags? Am I sick? Do I need to sleep more? Do I have to change my diet? Will the world really end before Christmas next year?"  I exaggerate, but you get the idea!

Men, on the other hand, don't do that.  They don't over-analyze. Their thought patterns are actually much simpler than you think!  If they're stressed out at work, they de-stress.

They sleep, they go out for a few drinks, they play video games, they surf for photos of beautiful women.  If they wake up with dark circles under their eyes, they wear them proudly. They try to look as best they can anyway, then troop to work.

When their co-workers and friends ask them about their eyebags, they joke, "Seen Kung Fu Panda? These are signs of awesomeness.  So how does this new bit of knowledge help you?

Here's an idea. The next time a guy gives you a gift, don't ask why. Don't over-analyze. Don't look for the "hidden, sinister reason" behind the gift.  He might just really like you. Simple, right? Here's the second funny fact about men:

MEN CAN'T MULTITASK.

They can't! While we can all at once think about work, the home, our friends, our hobbies, and whether or not Haley Reinhart deserved the boot in American Idol, men tend to focus on one thing at a time. It's like they were hard-wired by Mother Nature to do one thing, then move on to the next.

Ever noticed that he zones out when he's driving, or strolling, or working on his laptop? And ever notice how he sometimes sighs in exasperation when you break his concentration?

Nope, he's not mad at you -- it's just his normal reaction to getting jarred out of the way Mother Nature designed him to think!

Unfortunately, some women ask, "What's wrong?" and "I know something's wrong, why won't you tell me?" and "So that's your game, huh? You express your exasperation without telling me why? Well, two can play this game."

Don't make that mistake. I know we don't really mean it when we say "I'm okay." But when he says he's okay, trust me -- he's OKAY!  Now let's move on to something a little more serious...

FOR MEN, LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH.

For us, if we love him, and if he loves us back, then that's enough to start a new relationship. Unfortunately, men don't think that way.  Love is just one of the factors he considers when he's looking for a life partner -- there are many others!

For instance, a man also looks at your personality, your background, your work, your goals, and your dreams (among!). He's going to see if you'd be a good fit in his own life.  That's why if he realizes you're the type who wants to change him "for the better," you're in trouble!

Does he see you as an easy woman to deal with? Can he help you reach your goals and dreams? Will he want to? Will you fit well into his life, and even improve it?

Those are some of the important questions that every man asks, so don't make the mistake of thinking "all you need is love!"  And here's another bombshell...

MEN APPRECIATE RESPECT MORE THAN LOVE

Another side-effect of the "all you need is love" misconception is this... Do men need love? Yes. But love isn't enough!They want something deeper, something they appreciate more than just love. They want to feel like they're the MAN in the relationship -- strong, determined, and in charge.  In other words, they want your RESPECT!

They want to feel respected by the woman in their lives. If you don't (or can't) respect them, then they won't love you.  They need your support. They need your trust. They look for your femininity -- something his friends could never offer.

Unfortunately, many of us make the mistake of thinking men need the same things we do. And that's why we get frustrated when, even if we shower them with tons of love, they don't seem to love us back.

If we only knew that they appreciated respect a bit more, then we wouldn't be so frustrated -- and our relationships would go much more smoothly! See? When you understand the male mind, you avoid tons of the problems that most other women encounter in their love lives!  Finally, let's talk about the last hard-to-believe fact about men:

MEN DON'T LISTEN TO CRITICISM.

Every wondered why men don't listen to you when you nag them, or when you offer "constructive criticism?"  It's simply because they don't take well to any criticism AT ALL!

We women listen to criticism well, and we sometimes expect men to do the same. Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Men take criticism badly. When they're criticized, they feel incompetent.

And instead of trying to fix the problem, they tend to put some distance between you.  Do you really want that?

So instead of criticizing him, heap praises on him whenever he does something you like. He'll respond much more warmly, and will take steps to improve himself, by himself.  No nagging required!

Fatal Mistakes In Relationships

Are you a good lover? Are you in a great relationship right now? Or are you still single and lonely, despite your best efforts? You might be making a few critical mistakes in your approach
to love and relationship! Let me get a few things straight, because I've received a few rude e-mails lately...

NO, I'm not a man, and NO, I'm not teaching women how to be "doormats" in their relationships, and NO, I don't believe women are the weaker sex. Believe it! But let's face it. Why DO our
relationships go bad too soon?

As much as I hate to admit it, we simply make a few critical mistakes here and there in our relationships.  And even if these mistakes seem tiny, they're enough to sabotage our love lives and make us feel miserable and bitter!

Don't believe me? Then here are 7 of the most common, yet most damaging, mistakes that we women make in our dating lives. I've seen women make these mistakes over and over, and I've seen the damage they do.

If fixing these mistakes makes you feel like a "doormat," then I'm sorry for you.  I really am. Why? Because sometimes, we have to be doormats in the short-term to enjoy the rest of the mansion in the long-term.  Now that THAT'S out of the way, let's move on to the first mistake!

MISTAKE #1 - CHASING AFTER MEN

Some of us go out there and actively look for boyfriends.  The moment we meet someone who shows the slightest bit of interest in us, we immediately show our "feelings," too. And we do our best to make the relationship official as soon as possible.  Why is this a mistake? Simple.  If you chase after men, they run away!

If they're not 100% ready to have you as their girlfriend just yet, and you try to push the issue, trust me -- they're going to think, "On second thought, maybe not."  So don't rush!

Don't make men change their minds about you. Don't chase them. Don't rush into relationships. The best relationships out there start much more naturally.  Besides, chasing is THEIR job -- not
yours!

MISTAKE #2 - MAKING THE CONFESSION

Let me say that again -- it's the MAN'S job to chase the woman. Make sure not to mix it up!  And on the same note, it's the MAN'S job to confess his feelings to you.  But very unfortunately, too many of us make the role-reversal, and end up confessing OUR feelings to him. Oops!

Take me for example. In different stages in my life, I've had several male best friends.  And I've made the mistake of falling in love with many of them, and I've made the even BIGGER mistake of confessing my feelings to them!  I thought it would make the transition from "best friend" to
"boyfriend" easier for them. But no-- in the end, I lost my best friends, and I ended up single and lonely. Again! Bottom line? DON'T make the confession! Again, it's HIS job.

Besides, wouldn't it be better if you used all that energy to turn yourself into a better woman -- someone who could make the men around her WANT to confess their feelings to her?  Hold that thought as we move to the next mistake!

MISTAKE #3 - NOT GOING OUT THERE

Some of us actually do the exact opposite of chasing after men.  Some of us don't go out there at all! We don't meet new men, we don't show up at dates, and we stick to a (very) small circle of friends.

Sometimes, it's because we're afraid of rejection. Other times, it's because we believe "the right man will come at the right time." And unfortunately, both beliefs lead to the same thing -- a very lonely love life!

I'm not saying you should go out and chase men. (Remember Mistake #1?) I'm saying that you miss 100% of the chances you don't take! So learn to go out there. Make yourself available. Meet new people and make new friends. You'll see the improvement in your love life almost instantly.

MISTAKE #4 - THINKING ALL MEN ARE THE SAME

Do you think all men are the same?

If you do, then I'm willing to bet that you've had a few bad relationships in the past -- ones that ended the same miserable way, without fail.  Still, I don't think that's an excuse to think all men are the same. After all, what about the good ones out there?

Sure, a good (or bad, whichever way you look at it) majority of men out there isn't ready to handle a relationship.  But you shouldn't dismiss ALL men as "jerks" or "only after one thing."

Do you really want to miss the few great single guys who come your way? not, then keep an open mind!

MISTAKE #5 - HAVING STANDARDS THAT ARE TOO HIGH

I once had a friend who wanted a high-quality boyfriend.  She wanted someone who made six digits a year, who was tall, lean, and handsome, who was understanding and who would love
her for who she was.  I had to bite my lip while she was talking to me. My friend had an entry-level job (which she hated), was gaining weight, and was rather lazy and stand-offish.

And, as you might have guessed, she's been single for a LONG time.  Don't get me wrong -- it's good to have high standards.  Just make sure YOU can match up to your own standards! Otherwise, you'll be setting yourself up for a LOT of disappointment. Trust me.

MISTAKE #6 - NAGGING

Sorry, ladies! I know how natural nagging may come to us. But trust me, it does little to make our relationships better.  In fact, nagging actually makes them WORSE...

Sure, we may have good intentions when we nag. But we also have good intentions when we try to correct a bratty kid... When you've reached your boiling point around a brat, we tend to say things like, "Stop being a brat!"

But guess what? The more you nag the kid, the brattier it gets!  Back to men. If you want your man to love you more, then don't nag him too much. Instead, praise him more than you nag him!

If he's a good man, you can bet he's working very, very hard to make the relationship a happy place.  He'll need your support. Will you give it to him?

MISTAKE #7 - NOT LOOKING FOR HELP

Finally, many women make the mistake of NOT looking for help when they're unhappy.  That's why we make the other six mistakes over and over and over in our relationships.  And that's why many of us are still single and miserable!

Don't fall into a downward spiral. Get help! Talk with your friends. Meet couples who are leading great relationships, and don't be shy to ask a few questions.  And, of course, you can keep reading my books and articles, too! The key is to admit you need help, get the right advice, and then act! Want to make a bold, unstoppable act right now?

Is He A Player?

Have you ever wondered if the man you're in love with is a player? easy to worry -- after all, players are nothing but trouble when you're looking for real love! If you want to really find out if he's a player  Let's say you met a nice new guy. He's cute, he's fun, he's confident, and -- best of all -- he's your type!

There's no question that he likes you too, but there's just one nagging question you can't get out of your mind -- is he a player? Players are a troublesome bunch! These guys can give you the most exciting relationships, but can also put you through the most miserable breakups.

No matter how good they look or how fun they are to be with, when it comes down to it, they're really little more than a bunch of heartbreakers.  You guessed it -- for today's newsletter, we'll be talking about players. Why? Because, like it or not, they're here to stay!

WHAT A PLAYER IS

Players are basically men, whether they're single or otherwise, who play the dating game solely for the fun of it. They're NOT looking for someone to settle down with and eventually marry.
Their goal is to meet and get frisky with as many new women as they can.

As you might expect, players aren't great for relationships. They CAN be hot, steamy boyfriends for a few weeks or so -- but once they have their way with you, they get bored.  And when they get bored, you can bet they'll be on the lookout for the NEXT woman to play with!

Naturally, if you're looking for a good man to be your boyfriend (and later your husband), you'll want to avoid players at all costs. There's just one problem... It's not always easy to tell whether or not a man is a player! Players have a way with words, so the best way to tell a player from a real man is through his actions. Here are a few ways to tell whether or not he's a player...

HOW TO TELL IF HE'S A PLAYER

Player Red-Flag #1 - A player wants sex early in the relationship.

Does he talk about or suggest having sex within the first few weeks of the relationship? Does he sometimes schedule to meet you somewhere private, such as at his place or yours?

Be careful -- having sex early in the relationship is NEVER good for you! (It's only good for him, and no one else.) After having sex with you, he'll start thinking he has already "conquered"
you -- and he'll lose interest in keeping the relationship going any longer.  Ouch!

Player Red-Flag #2 - A player doesn't like to talk about the future.

In fact, he avoids talking about the relationship a lot -- whenever you try to talk to him about settling down and getting married, he simply shrugs it off and changes the topic.  He's much, much more interested in the present than the future!  Let's face it -- players have no plans of keeping you as their girlfriend for very long. Once they find a new toy (a new woman, obviously), they'll dump you.

They'll spend less time with you, causing you to get angry and argue with them -- and they'll use that as an excuse to say, "It's not really working out for us."  Double ouch!

Player Red-Flag #3 - A player isn't too interested about your background.

He doesn't listen too well, and gets bored quickly when you talk to him about yourself and more "intellectual" topics. When he talks, it's mostly about himself.  That's a given -- after all, players
survive in the dating game by marketing themselves. They want to look good, sound good, and feel good to the women they meet. After all, that all that matters to him -- "winning" women's hearts.

HOW TO DEAL WITH PLAYERS

Right now, I'd like you to ask yourself -- where are you at this point in your love life? Are you ready to settle down with a good man? Or are you still "feeling" your way through the dating game, and think you need more experience before you can become a good wife?

If you're still "feeling" your way through the dating game, then you can take the risk and spend time with a player. Surprisingly, if you can manage to keep yourself from falling too deeply in love with them, the casual relationship can be fun, and you'll learn quite a bit about the dating game!

But if you're looking for someone who'll eventually become a steady boyfriend, then you'll want to avoid getting too involved with players.  But it's not always easy, as in the case of VG, one of my readers who's now hopelessly in love with a player. We'll get to her story in a bit. For now, here's another question for you:

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH A PLAYER?

What do you do when you're hopelessly in love with a player? What do you do when you simply can't get over him? What if you feel you're going to die if he won't be your husband in the end?

VG wrote to me about how she once had a relationship with a man, but later realized that he was a hopeless player. The guy only wanted the physical side of things, and none of the emotional responsibilities. Unfortunately VG had already fallen desperately in love with him...

"We've kissed, but I've avoided having sex with him," VG wrote to me. "In fact, I've been avoiding any invitation to meet privately. I know that if we ever have sex, he's going to dump me for good. What do I do, Alex? I simply can't get over him -- I want him to marry me eventually.

VG's situation is very tricky -- there's simply no guarantee that he's going to change his mind about being a player. If VG stays with him, she loses. And if VG leaves him, she still loses. Think of the heartbreak she'll have to go through!

But here's my advice, VG -- if you truly want to take the risk of making him "the one," then don't stay with him. But on the other hand, don't leave either!  What you should do is stay in his radar,
but start meeting other men on the side.

Start dating. Start making friends. Start flirting!  In other words, I'm asking you to try being THE player in the relationship.  Try becoming the kind of woman that the REAL men out there actually WANT to know better -- fun, independent, mature, and attractive in all aspects!

If you play your cards right, he's going to notice that you're actually doing FINE without him. And since players value their reputation more than anything else, he's going to try to win you back!

Yes, it's possible. In fact, it can even be EASY! When you know exactly how a man's mind works in the dating game, you'll know which buttons to push to actually make him see you as more than just a friend with benefits!