I mean DUMPED. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who just suddenly decided, for reasons you will never understand, that he had to leave? It can be one of the most heart-wrenching things a person could ever face.
Being dumped slams you right in the middle of your self-esteem It makes you question everything about yourself. The worst part is that without any reason why he left, you always feel like it was YOUR fault. That's NOT fair!
But there is always a reason why a man leaves. The trick lies in figuring out what the reasons were. He might not tell you this. Maybe he's not sure, or he just doesn't want to talk about it. That's why WE are going to talk about it. Right now.
REASON #1: HE WAS UNHAPPY.
Every relationship goes through that phase after the honeymoon is over. You know the one! At first you are so happy that you can't stop smiling. You are walking on air. You want to learn everything you can about the new love of your life. But fast-forward a few months, and those endearing quirks are now getting on your nerves.
Those in relationships that last will simply accept this. It is a sign that you are moving forward into a more fulfilling place. You are finding the not-so-sweet side of your partner. If you can accept those things, you can move forward into a healthy place.
But some men cling to the honeymoon phase. They want it to be good, very good, all the time. When they run into the first roadblock, they get unhappy. They think that by removing themselves from the relationship, they will be happy again.
They might be. That means they did the right thing. But they might not be - which means they will probably want to come back.
REASON #2: HE GOT SCARED.
It isn't just brides at the altar who get cold feet. Sometimes people get scared long before they get there! Most men are not ready to commit. They might WANT to commit, and they might give it a good try, but deep down they are too scared to take it to the next level.
So when things start to get serious, they back off. When things start to seem like they might last long term, they get scared. They WANT to commit. They just don't know HOW to commit. Moving away from things that scare us is human nature. Men get scared, and they want to leave.
REASON #3: HE HATES PRESSURE.
Men hate being told what to do. For a man, being told what to do equals pressure. It means they are no longer in charge of their own lives. That will make them push back against the pressure, and refuse to do what you want them to do. If they are going to do something, they want to feel as though it was THEIR idea!
Women go into relationships looking for the fairy tale. They want to have the commitment, the marriage, the kids and the white picket fence. Men go into relationships looking to change as little about their lives as possible. So when we want something, we might ask for it. Over and over. Women see this as reasonable, but men see it as – you guessed it! - nagging. He eventually wants to get rid of the pressure. The only way he sees to do that is to leave.
REASON #4: HE HATES OUTSIDE INFLUENCES.
This is a really sad reason for a relationship to end, but it happens all the time. He might love you. He might adore you like he has never adored anyone else. He might even want to spend the rest of his life with you. But there is someone in your life - maybe a sibling, or your mother, or a best friend - that he simply cannot STAND.
In a perfect world, everyone would get along. Everyone would see how happy you are and manage to be nice to each other, no matter what they thought about the people around you. But the world is not perfect. Even if your man goes above and beyond to please, and even if your family members and friends try VERY hard, they still might not be able to get along. And that can spell true disaster.
A man knows when he is not wanted. He knows where he is not welcome. man will try to get out of a situation that makes everyone uncomfortable. Wouldn't you do the same if the tables were turned?
REASON #5: HE WANTS TO LOOK ELSEWHERE.
Sometimes a man wants to see what else is out there. It hurts worse than any of the other reasons, and he knows that -so that's why he doesn't tell you truth. What is the truth? It's this:
He was looking for something that he simply didn't find with you. He is still searching for THE ONE and he doesn't think you are that person. Here's more truth:
Just because he wants something different does NOT mean there is anything wrong with you! In fact - though it might be hard to see it at the time - this guy has done you a favor. He has set you free to find a man who truly wants YOU. There is a perfect someone out there for you. You are now free to find him!
UNDERSTAND AND MOVE ON
Not knowing the reasons for a breakup can hold you back. You might be afraid to give it another shot. It is like riding a horse. One day you might get thrown from the saddle. The tumble hurts. It scares you. That was a long way down!
But the best way to overcome the fear is to get right back on the horse. But before you do, ask yourself what happened. Were you too hard on the reins? Was there something on the ground that scared your horse? What happened to cause the tumble?
Once you know, you can fix it. You can get back on the horse with a wiser perspective. This time, you will keep your seat. This time, you will be okay. Relationships are the same way. You have to understand why you got thrown from the saddle. You have to see the reasons WHY he left before you can let it go.
When you see the reasons why, then you can let go of the idea that it was YOUR fault. And you will believe me when I say: It was NOT your fault! There is a man out there who wants to be with you. There is a man in this world who will give you all of his heart and fall madly in love with you.
That man will not leave! It's time to get out there and find him.
Being dumped slams you right in the middle of your self-esteem It makes you question everything about yourself. The worst part is that without any reason why he left, you always feel like it was YOUR fault. That's NOT fair!
But there is always a reason why a man leaves. The trick lies in figuring out what the reasons were. He might not tell you this. Maybe he's not sure, or he just doesn't want to talk about it. That's why WE are going to talk about it. Right now.
REASON #1: HE WAS UNHAPPY.
Every relationship goes through that phase after the honeymoon is over. You know the one! At first you are so happy that you can't stop smiling. You are walking on air. You want to learn everything you can about the new love of your life. But fast-forward a few months, and those endearing quirks are now getting on your nerves.
Those in relationships that last will simply accept this. It is a sign that you are moving forward into a more fulfilling place. You are finding the not-so-sweet side of your partner. If you can accept those things, you can move forward into a healthy place.
But some men cling to the honeymoon phase. They want it to be good, very good, all the time. When they run into the first roadblock, they get unhappy. They think that by removing themselves from the relationship, they will be happy again.
They might be. That means they did the right thing. But they might not be - which means they will probably want to come back.
REASON #2: HE GOT SCARED.
It isn't just brides at the altar who get cold feet. Sometimes people get scared long before they get there! Most men are not ready to commit. They might WANT to commit, and they might give it a good try, but deep down they are too scared to take it to the next level.
So when things start to get serious, they back off. When things start to seem like they might last long term, they get scared. They WANT to commit. They just don't know HOW to commit. Moving away from things that scare us is human nature. Men get scared, and they want to leave.
REASON #3: HE HATES PRESSURE.
Men hate being told what to do. For a man, being told what to do equals pressure. It means they are no longer in charge of their own lives. That will make them push back against the pressure, and refuse to do what you want them to do. If they are going to do something, they want to feel as though it was THEIR idea!
Women go into relationships looking for the fairy tale. They want to have the commitment, the marriage, the kids and the white picket fence. Men go into relationships looking to change as little about their lives as possible. So when we want something, we might ask for it. Over and over. Women see this as reasonable, but men see it as – you guessed it! - nagging. He eventually wants to get rid of the pressure. The only way he sees to do that is to leave.
REASON #4: HE HATES OUTSIDE INFLUENCES.
This is a really sad reason for a relationship to end, but it happens all the time. He might love you. He might adore you like he has never adored anyone else. He might even want to spend the rest of his life with you. But there is someone in your life - maybe a sibling, or your mother, or a best friend - that he simply cannot STAND.
In a perfect world, everyone would get along. Everyone would see how happy you are and manage to be nice to each other, no matter what they thought about the people around you. But the world is not perfect. Even if your man goes above and beyond to please, and even if your family members and friends try VERY hard, they still might not be able to get along. And that can spell true disaster.
A man knows when he is not wanted. He knows where he is not welcome. man will try to get out of a situation that makes everyone uncomfortable. Wouldn't you do the same if the tables were turned?
REASON #5: HE WANTS TO LOOK ELSEWHERE.
Sometimes a man wants to see what else is out there. It hurts worse than any of the other reasons, and he knows that -so that's why he doesn't tell you truth. What is the truth? It's this:
He was looking for something that he simply didn't find with you. He is still searching for THE ONE and he doesn't think you are that person. Here's more truth:
Just because he wants something different does NOT mean there is anything wrong with you! In fact - though it might be hard to see it at the time - this guy has done you a favor. He has set you free to find a man who truly wants YOU. There is a perfect someone out there for you. You are now free to find him!
UNDERSTAND AND MOVE ON
Not knowing the reasons for a breakup can hold you back. You might be afraid to give it another shot. It is like riding a horse. One day you might get thrown from the saddle. The tumble hurts. It scares you. That was a long way down!
But the best way to overcome the fear is to get right back on the horse. But before you do, ask yourself what happened. Were you too hard on the reins? Was there something on the ground that scared your horse? What happened to cause the tumble?
Once you know, you can fix it. You can get back on the horse with a wiser perspective. This time, you will keep your seat. This time, you will be okay. Relationships are the same way. You have to understand why you got thrown from the saddle. You have to see the reasons WHY he left before you can let it go.
When you see the reasons why, then you can let go of the idea that it was YOUR fault. And you will believe me when I say: It was NOT your fault! There is a man out there who wants to be with you. There is a man in this world who will give you all of his heart and fall madly in love with you.
That man will not leave! It's time to get out there and find him.
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