Showing posts with label If He's not interested. Show all posts
Showing posts with label If He's not interested. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

He's Not Interested

Not all the men you'll meet in the dating game will be interested in you. Some won't notice you, and some are only interested in being friends with you. But is there a way to subtly and secretly "turn them around" and make them feel an unexplainable attraction to you? Sure there is!  I hope you're not the type of woman who falls in love with every single man she meets! (That's just desperation!) Here's the fact -- not all the single men you'll  meet in the dating game will be interested in you. (Duh!) There will always be men whose standards you don't fall into, or those who simply don't notice you at all.  Of course, that's normal. Do YOU notice every single man that comes your way? Of course not!  But sometimes, and it's always frustrating when it happens, you meet that one GORGEOUS guy you'd like to know better. There's just one problem -- he doesn't notice you.  Or worse -- he knows you, but only likes you as a friend!

What should you do in such a situation? Should you push your luck and try to make him love you? Or should you walk away and regret not trying at all?

WHAT IF HE'S JUST NOT INTERESTED IN YOU?

Good question, and this question is actually pretty fun for me to answer.  Here are three possible approaches to a man who's just not interested in you:

Approach #1 - Just let him be -- it's his loss.
Some women think it's best to just let him be -- like if he doesn't notice you, or if he isn't interested in you, "it's his loss." That's fine, I guess. You're definitely welcome to spare yourself the effort of trying to catch his attention.  There's just one problem with this approach -- what if he was Mr. Right?  In some circles -- what if he was your "soulmate?"

Now here's what I think about "soulmates" -- there's more than one of them out there for you. There are LOTS of men out there who'd be fantastic matches for you.  But what if this one was the best one of the lot? What if "just letting him be" means missing a chance of meeting your one true love? Let me tell you this -- I REALLY hate those "what-if" questions! It really rubbed me the wrong way to go home regretting I didn't even say "Hi" to that gorgeous guy at the party.  So let's try another common approach we women try:

Approach #2 - Try to win him over.
Some of us muster the courage and confidence to approach a guy, say "hi," and try to win him over.  We make friends with him, we swap numbers, and later on we ask him out on a date. We even give him gifts and do him little favors.  Some of us even go as far as having sex with him!
I'm pretty sure you've tried some of that before. How well did it go?  Here's something you'll have to know about guys -- you can't directly CHANGE them.  If he's not interested in you, you can't directly change that.  If he only likes you as a friend, you can't directly change that.  Not with dates. Not with favors. Not with gifts.  Yup, not even with sex. (In fact, once he has sex with you BEFORE he's fallen in love with you, guess what? He'll start withdrawing and avoiding you!)  If that sounds a little hard to believe, then let me reverse the roles a bit for you.

Ask yourself -- how would you feel if a guy you weren't interested in started asking for your number and inviting you to dates?  How would you feel if a guy you weren't interested in started giving you gifts and doing you favors?  Now I'm sure guys won't "offer you free sex," but in case he did, how'd you feel?  GROSSED OUT, I'm sure!  Guess what? That's PRECISELY how a guy
would feel if he wasn't interested in you, BUT you started trying to win him over anyway! Needless to say, this approach doesn't work.  And even if it does work, it's even WORSE!  Even if you manage to make him fall in love with you, the attraction he'll feel towards you will always feel "forced" --and eventually, he'll grow tired of your relationship, and start looking for a way out.  So avoid this approach. Don't try to make a guy fall in love with you. It doesn't work, it wastes your time, and it annoys the guys you meet.  There's a much better way!

Approach #3 - Lead Him In.
Here's how the real SEDUCTRESSES do it. Instead of letting him be, and instead of trying to win him over, they do something entirely different.  They INVITE HIM IN.
Here's an easy example. Instead of directly approaching a guy and saying "hi," a smart, attractive woman catches his attention by making eye contact, giving him a wink, and then walking to a place they can talk.  Trust me -- that's an irresistible invitation for a guy! He's going to follow her, if only to ask: "Have we met before?"

Here's another tactic -- instead of INVITING him to a date, ask him to join you. "I'm having lunch at the Deli near your office. Want to meet up?" See? It's much less pressure on a guy, and it's much easier for him to say, "Sure, see you there!"  And here's another tip you can try if you REALLY have to say "hi" – just smile. Yup, smile. Like you've known the guy for a long, long time, and you're absolutely happy to see him. Trust me, he's going to smile back.  So ladies, here's today's lesson: don't chase after him.  INVITE HIM IN!  I just gave you a couple of examples you can try to "lead" a guy into knowing more about you, which opens the doors to a deeper friendship, more attraction, and -- who knows? Maybe even a real, long-term relationship!   It's sad, really. We women are getting more and more lonely, and men are getting more and more bored.  
There's a lot to learn about how to attract men actually, but maybe i will reveal it later..so keep finding girls!