Drama Queen

Jika aku sedang nonton reality show seperti "The Real Housewife" mereka sengaja menciptakan drama untuk mendapatkan perhatian public.  Sesuatu yang sebenarnya sepele menjadi sebuah perkara yang besar supaya menciptakan argumen-argumen yang kekanakan dan tidak penting.  Padahal kalau dipikir mereka itu termasuk wanita yang "mature" bukan lagi gadis remaja.  Tapi kelakuan mereka seolah-olah mereka masih berusia 17 tahun!  Tapi reality show isn't great without drama is it?  mungkin banyak kali ya diluar sana drama queen lainnya yang tidak aku tahu.  Tapi kalau aku sampai lihat hal seperti itu, aku pasti akan berpikir "ewww.."  Kayaknya itu deh contohnya kenapa kita harus belajar control diri, dan belajar untuk defensif dengan cara dewasa.  Jika kita merasa tersinggung dengan perkataan seseorang, ada baiknya berpikir positif dan tidak terlalu menghiraukannya kecuali jika memang dia sangat keterlaluan.  Kalau dia sampai keterlaluan, reaksi yang bisa kita lakukan adalah membela diri dengan cara diplomatis.  Tidak perlu perang mulut (kecuali dia menghina kita), asal pembelaan kita positif dan itu cukup "menyentil" orang yang bersangkutan.

Jika aku ada di posisi defensif bila seseorang menyerangku dengan menghina aku pasti akan menghina dia balik hehehe..Tapi itu kalau kasusnya sudah lebay ya ^_^ if they can be a bitch in front of me..i could be twice more than them.  So don't play with me bitch:)  Tapi, sejauh ini sih aku belum pernah tuh yang namanya bertengkar dengan perempuan lain.  Jangan sampai aku jadi trouble maker deh..Aku pernah sih diperlakukan tidak baik dengan sesama teman smpku yang kelihatannya merasa iri padaku atau gimana lah..di facebook mereka meremove foto reunian yang ada aku disitu.  Tindakanku sih hanya bisa diam dan tersenyum simpul karena betapa tindakan seperti itu sangat kekanakan dan justru memperlihatkan sikap iri mereka terhadapku.  hahaha..mungkin karena mereka melihatku happy-happy aja hidupnya dan sebagainya.  Sutralah..rumput tetangga selalu terlihat lebih hijau kan?  Dalam memperlakukan teman yang bermuka dua bagaimana?  cukup jauhi dia.  Jangan sampai mengumbar masalah pribadi ke dia, jika perlu katakan padanya kalau kamu sedang bahagia dan seterusnya supaya dia bisa bergosip ke yang lainnya dan tambah irilah mereka hehehe..jahat ya..biar aja, mereka juga jahat kok padaku.  Seenaknya menilai orang lain dari cerita-cerita yang belum tentu benar tentang aku.

Back To Painting?

Sudah lama sekali aku tidak lagi melukis dan menggambar, padahal dulu aku suka sekali dengan kegiatan ini.  Setiap ada mimpi atau sebuah inspirasi aku selalu melukisnya di buku gambar.  Ada keasyikan tersendiri kalau lagi melukis, terkadang bisa sampai lupa waktu segala.  Sejak si kecil lahir, hobby yang satu itu semakin terlupakan, habis gimana ya kehidupan menjadi berubah.  Dari hanya sendiri, kini sudah ada tanggung jawab lain yang lebih membahagiakan.  Ya bukan lagi mengurus diri sendiri lagi prioritasnya, melainkan mengurus si kecil.  Biasanya kalau aku ke toko buku, aku gatal sekali untuk membeli peralatan melukis seperti cat air, spidol, pinsil dan lain sebagainya, tapi pada akhirnya itu semua hanya tersimpan di sebuah kotak hobbyku yang berdebu.  Biasanya aku suka sekali menggambar wanita cantik dengan menggunakan pinsil 2B.  Bagiku wanita itu memang mahluk yang indah, hingga para artispun mengagumi keindahannya termasuk aku juga. Kalau kupikir-pikir saat ini anakku sudah mulai besar, sudah mulai bisa mandiri jadi kemungkinan aku bisa mencari waktu lagi untuk memulai melukis kembali..bagiku, melukis itu bisa sebagai therapy juga.  Baiklah..aku akan memikirkannya lagi nanti,  smoga saja memang masih ada spare waktu untuk yang satu ini.  

Could This Be Love..

   Could this be love..? 

Staring through the windows of time
Drying off the last year of our bind
Was it real or just a mirage
Love has its way of making you blind
I stared deep into your heart and your soul
And I feel what any woman would want
Why did I run? Why did I hide?
Because the memories bleed on and on

Time goes on and the feelings stay strong
Memories laugh and play with my heart
like thunder in a rainstorm

Tell me is this real or just a mirage
I ask myself...

Could this be love
Or just a memory
Of the two of us together
Lifetime friends forever
You and me a unity
Of friendship and love

As we moved our separate ways that day
Tears ran down my face
and I asked myself

Was I just too weak to face the truth
That love is what I have for you
You`re someone special deep down inside
Your love is true, why did I hide?
Why did I run? Why did I hide?
Because the memories bleed on and on

Time goes on and the feeling stays strong
This word called love- are you the one? That I want
Tell me is this real or just a mirage
I ask myself
Could this be love
Or just a memory
Of the two of us together
Lifetime friends forever
You and me a unity
Of friendship and love

Sayang kamu dimana? lama sekali kamu biarkan aku menunggumu..aku rindu..

aku ingin sekali bercerita, menggenggam tanganmu, menatap matamu, mencium harum tubuhmu..semuanya..

kepingin sekali kamu ada disini.  Jika suatu hari nanti kita bertemu, tersenyumlah dan katakan hallo..

Paperwhites

Pungently fragrant paperwhite narcissus are easy to force. You can start them from October through January―enough time for several batches of blooms if you plant bulbs every few weeks (always store unused bulbs in a paper bag at room temperature). There are a number of popular varieties, such as Ziva (shown), Galilee, and Ariel.

How to plant: A tall glass or ceramic container with no drainage holes is best. Pour in two inches of pebbles that have been rinsed free of dust. Add a tablespoon or two of rinsed aquarium charcoal (so the water won't smell "off"), then more pebbles. Place three bulbs, root-side down and almost touching one another, on top. Add enough tepid water to reach just below the bottoms of the bulbs. Replenish when the level falls by a quarter inch.

You'll see blooms: In four to six weeks. Once the blossoms die, toss the bulbs; they won't flower again. Reuse the pebbles for the next batch.

Amarilis

Like paperwhites, an amaryllis can be grown in a watertight container. (You can buy an inexpensive enamelware pot like the one shown here at many hardware stores.)

How to plant: Layer pebbles, rinsed aquarium charcoal, then more pebbles, until you've filled about two-thirds of the container. Pour in enough tepid water to just cover the pebbles, then add another thin layer of pebbles. Set a single bulb (or more, in a larger container) on top, root-side down; be sure to leave on the fleshy roots for quick, healthy growth. Scoop in more pebbles, until they reach the point where the bulb narrows; this will help stabilize the plant as it grows. Once a week, work a finger down to feel the roots; if they don't touch the water, add more.

You'll see blooms: In six to eight weeks, sometimes sooner. Once a bulb has been forced, you should discard it. Getting it to bloom again can be difficult.

Spicy Black Bean Chili

 

ingredients

• 1 cup dry black beans
• 6 cups water
• 1 medium onion, chopped (1/2 cup)
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon cooking oil
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano, crushed
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper
• 4 cups vegetable or chicken broth
• 1 14-1/2-ounce can tomatoes, cut up
• 1/4 cup dry sherry or water
• 1/4 cup plain low-fat yogurt or dairy sour cream
• 1 tablespoon snipped fresh cilantro

directions

1. Rinse beans. In a large saucepan combine beans and water. Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Simmer for 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand for 1 hour. (Or, soak beans overnight in a covered pan.) Drain and rinse the beans.
2. In a large saucepan or Dutch oven cook the onion and garlic in hot oil until tender. Stir in chili powder, cumin, oregano, paprika, salt, and ground red pepper. Cook and stir for 1 minute. Add the beans, vegetable or chicken broth, undrained tomatoes, and sherry or water. Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 1 to 1-1/2 hours or until beans are tender.
3. To serve, ladle chili into individual bowls. Top with a dollop of yogurt or sour cream and sprinkle with cilantro. Makes 4 servings.

Three-Herb Steaks

ingredients

• 1/2 cup snipped fresh parsley
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/4 cup snipped fresh basil
• 1 Tbsp snipped fresh oregano
• 1 to 2 tsp. cracked black pepper
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 2 beef top loin steaks, cut 1 1/2 inch thick
• 2 medium red or yellow sweet peppers cut into 1/2-inch rings, seeds removed
• 1 Tbsp. Olive oil
• Salt and pepper

  directions

1. In a bowl combine parsley, 1/4 cup olive oil, basil, oregano, cracked black pepper and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Trim fat from meat. Rub half the mixture on both sides of steaks. Cover; refrigerate steaks 1 hour. Meanwhile, brush pepper rings with 1 tablespoon olive oil. Season lightly with salt and pepper
2. For a charcoal grill, grill steaks on the rack of an uncovered grill to desired doneness, turning once. (Allow 15 to 19 minutes for medium-rare (145 degrees F) or 18 to 23 minutes for medium (160 degrees F)). Grill pepper rings next to the steaks the last 8 to 10 minutes of grilling, or until peppers are tender, turning once. Remove steaks from grill and sprinkle with remaining herb mixture. Cover and let stand for 10 minutes.
3. To serve slice steaks across the grain. Serve with sweet pepper rings.
4. Makes: 6 servings

Steak with Onion Relish

ingredients

• 1 1-1/4- to 1-1/2-pound beef flank steak
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 1 tablespoon snipped fresh oregano
• 1 tablespoon snipped fresh sage
• 2 teaspoons beef bouillon granules
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2 sweet onions (such as Vidalia, Maui, Texas Sweet, or Walla Walla), halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
• 1 medium red or yellow sweet pepper, cut into thin bite-size strips
• 8 7- to 8-inch flour tortillas, warmed*

 

     directions

1. Trim fat from steak. Score both sides of steak in a diamond pattern by making shallow diagonal cuts at 1-inch intervals. Place steak in a plastic bag set in a shallow dish. For marinade, in a small bowl combine balsamic vinegar, olive oil, honey, oregano, sage, bouillon granules, and black pepper. Pour half of the marinade over the steak; seal bag. Set remaining marinade aside. Marinate in refrigerator for at least 2 hours or up to 24 hours, turning bag occasionally.
2. In a large nonstick skillet combine onions and reserved marinade. Bring to boiling; reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer, covered, for 13 to 15 minutes or until onions are tender, stirring occasionally. Add sweet pepper strips; cook, uncovered, over medium-high heat for 4 to 5 minutes or until pepper strips are crisp-tender, stirring constantly.
3. Drain steak, reserving marinade. Place steak on the rack of an uncovered grill directly over medium coals. Grill for 17 to 21 minutes or until medium doneness (160 degree F), turning and brushing once with reserved marinade halfway through grilling. Discard any remaining marinade.
4. To serve, thinly slice steak diagonally across the grain. Serve steak strips in warm tortillas. Top with the onion mixture. Makes 8 servings.
5. *Note: To warm tortillas, wrap in foil and place alongside steak on grill; grill about 10 minutes or until heated through, turning occasionally. (Or wrap in waxed paper or microwave-safe paper towels; microwave on 100 percent power [high] for 30 to 60 seconds.)

Lemon Chicken Stir-Fry

Spiked with lots of zesty lemon, this delectable chicken stir-fry has a colorful mix of snow peas, carrots and scallions. But feel free to substitute other thinly sliced vegetables, such as bell peppers or zucchini. Serve with: Rice noodles or brown rice.

1 lemon
1/2 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth
3 tablespoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces
10 ounces mushrooms, halved or quartered
1 cup diagonally sliced carrots (1/4 inch thick)
2 cups snow peas (6 ounces), stems and strings removed
1 bunch scallions, cut into 1-inch pieces, white and green parts divided
1 tablespoon chopped garlic

1. Grate 1 teaspoon lemon zest and set aside. Juice the lemon and whisk 3 tablespoons of the juice with broth, soy sauce and cornstarch in a small bowl.
2. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add chicken and cook, stirring occasionally, until just cooked through, 4 to 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate with tongs. Add mushrooms and carrots to the pan and cook until the carrots are just tender, about 5 minutes. Add snow peas, scallion whites, garlic and the reserved lemon zest. Cook, stirring, until fragrant, 30 seconds. Whisk the broth mixture and add to the pan; cook, stirring, until thickened, 2 to 3 minutes. Add scallion greens and the chicken and any accumulated juices; cook, stirring, until heated through, 1 to 2 minutes.

Teaching Kids Gratitude

Teaching your children to say "thank you" is only half the battle. It’s equally as important to teach them to be thankful. By helping kids recognize the positive aspects of life—like sharing their favorite things to appreciating a kind gesture—they will find deeper meaning in their day-to-day experiences. Read on for little activities you can do with your children to help them grow into grateful, satisfied and optimistic adults.

Ages 3-7

Every night before bedtime, ask your child: “What were your five favorite things today?” says Jeffrey Froh, PsyD, director of The Laboratory for Gratitude in Youth at Hofstra University. Though younger children don’t fully grasp the concept of gratitude, simply starting a habit that helps them notice good things in their lives conditions them to become more positive.

Ages 8 to 10

Kids at this age are just beginning to understand feelings of appreciation, so it’s important to explain a kind gesture to your child clearly, suggests Dr. Froh. “If a relative or friend does something kind for your kid, help him understand the thoughtful nature of the gesture and how it made his life better.” For example, say, “That was nice of Grandma to take the time to bake you a cake for your birthday. And, look, it’s chocolate—your favorite.”

Read uplifting true stories about kind deeds done by strangers.

Ages 11 to 13

Give your child a camera and tell her to take photos of the things she’s most grateful for over the course of a week. Print the pictures and make a collage on a poster or bulletin board. In Dr. Froh’s 2007 two-week study of sixth- and seventh-graders, those who wrote a daily list of things they were thankful for showed increased optimism, life satisfaction and gratitude. The idea is the same here: Turning grateful thoughts into concrete actions of selfexpression— whether writing, drawing or taking a photo— helps make them more real to your child.

 Teaching Kids Gratitude

Ages 14 and up

Watch a film that has gratitude as its theme, like Field of Dreams or The Pursuit of Happyness, and talk about it afterward. “Mirror neurons are brain cells that help us experience similar emotions to those around us,” says Dr. Froh. “At this age, kids begin to think abstractly and logically because of the development of these neurons.” So watching someone experience intense gratitude, like the characters do in the films, will help your teen feel it too.

Tips for raising happy and responsible children

Our Artist

As a full-fledged "Baby Boomer", I grew up during a time where women were just liberating themselves, bra-less and all, and were overcoming relationship, educational, political and workplace boundaries.  I believe my parents expected me to marry in my twenties, work in a low-key job, become a housewife and have children.  My own aspirations were non-existent.

My husband would say I was "rudderless", there was no direction in my life.  At the encouragement of my ex-husband I obtained a B.S. in computer science.   That path lead to a 24-year stint at a high tech company and is where I met the true love of my life (that's another story) and resulted in three beautiful daughters.

With that quick background in mind and the frame of reference that stems from the "Women's Liberation Movement", I knew raising three daughters who would have a strong sense of self would be critical (if not for me, definitely for them).

My daughters are now ages 19, 16, and 13.  I am starting to see the fruits of my labor come into focus.  I am happy to report that in hindsight my following parenting picks are what helped form my daughters into responsible human beings and were essential in guiding me as their parent.  Yet these can be forgotten or trampled over as our children compete on the soccer field as well as in the classroom:

1. Help them discover and grow their natural interests and talents.  My husband and I noticed specific talents in each daughter (which we fortuitously captured in these photos) as early as one and a half years of age.  As soon as they came out the chute (aka cervical canal) they had distinct personalities and talents.  My eldest, for example, always loved to draw.  When she was two we were on a flight from San Francisco to Amsterdam and she drew and colored the entire plane ride (luckily she had diapers on).  She is a lefty, by the way.  Today she is pursing a degree in illustration.  It was a natural progression and one she has chosen and is truly passionate about. 
2. Encourage independent thinking: At the dinner table my husband and I have always enjoyed discussing all sorts of things with the girls and hearing their opinions.  We discuss the pros and cons on a topic so they can see two sides of the coin.  We want them to choose their political and religious beliefs by giving them a strong foundation from which to make the best choices.  We often have them read a few articles from the newspaper and have a long discussion about it and each shares their viewpoint.
3. Provide strong fiscal fundamentals:  Ever since my two youngest could talk they kept bugging me about wanting a dog. I gave them an option.  Either earn the money for one or we would never own one.  They thought about chores that could help raise the money, but the decisive moment was when my girls created a pet sitting business for our neighborhood which they have now managed for six years (established when then were 10 and 6 years of age).  That may seem young but we always had adult (me) supervision until they were in their teens.  It has resulted in a consistent source of income for them which has taught them money, time and business management, plus a ton of responsibility.  It also resulted in not one but TWO dogs.  They paid for their pets, the medical bills and food.  I stopped giving them allowance after the first year in business.  They each have their own bank account and regularly watch it grow.  They have goals for items they want to purchase and since it is truly their money they research the heck out of things before purchasing.
4. Establish good study habits:  Ever since they were in public school, I established regular study and homework habits for them.  They were allowed to play and relax for 30 minutes before doing their homework.  No television or video games until all of their homework was complete.  I used to help and check it when they were little, but in time they stopped asking me for help and would ask each other instead.  They still help each other study for tests and rehearse oral presentations.
5. Create a love for traveling:  Having young children did not stop us from getting on an airplane or car and traveling.  My husband and I love to travel and we have instilled that love in our children.  It creates incredible memories which we often recall during family reunions and holidays.  We look at photos and videos of these memories and laugh until our bellies ache.
6. Create a sense of charity:  We always want our children to have gratitude.  That is perhaps one of our most important fundamentals we have for them.  At the dinner table we would ask each child to describe three things they were grateful for that day.  Oftentimes we heard the same thing over and over - "I'm thankful for a roof over my head, the food on my plate and my dogs", but in time their thinking became deeper and they realize how fortunate they are and understand the need to give to others who are less fortunate.  We regularly donate to various causes we believe in.  And it does not always have to be monetary in form.  Each of them has given a couple of times to Locks of Love which is a truly personal charitable donation. 
7. Let them make mistakes:  As a parent you never want to see your child get hurt, whether it be a scraped knee or an embarrassing moment.  But failure and mistakes are human and often teach more valuable lessons that result in making them more compassionate and worldly people.
8. Show by example:  I have gone through many changes over the years.  Most recently my children saw me make a huge decision to quit my long-time, high tech job and choose to discover what I was passionate about - photography and writing.  They have seen me build a photography business and pursue writing my own blog and now I am branching out and writing for other publications like Yahoo Shine!    When my children see this, they see they can be whatever they dream.  They know they are to follow their passion in life and that their parents are here to help them find that passion and path.  At least up to a certain point before they can fly and pursue it on their own.

I see the journey of my parenting reaching a juncture in the road.  My girls are so self-sufficient that my parenting has lessened and our relationship is becoming something akin to peers.  Not peers in age but in capability.   Soon they will be teaching me more than vice-versa.

If you're a parent, what are your best tips?  If you're not yet a parent, what was the best thing your parent taught you?  More about parenting tips:http://shine.yahoo.com/event/momentsofmotherhood/parenting-guru-tips-for-raising-happy-and-responsible-children-2437907/#photoViewer=1

Apa Yang Diajarkan Nenekku Sebagai Seorang Lady..

Menunggu..ya itulah yang harus dilakukan seorang perempuan.  Prinsip dari jaman dahulu kala yang diajarkan oleh eyangku sewaktu aku masih kuliah dulu.  Eyang adalah seorang wanita yang kuat, tabah, dan benar-benar a wise lady yang aku kagumi.  Beliaulah yang selalu menasihatiku dalam hal prinsip kehidupan seorang perempuan, mulai dari wejangan soal relationship, mengatur keuangan, dan lain sebagainya.  Inilah aku yang sekarang menjadi seperti ini.  Eyang adalah panutanku hingga aku menjadi seorang yang tabah dan sabar, dulu beliau selalu mengingatkanku agar tidak boleh cengeng dan manja.  Beliau juga selalu menasihatiku mengenai persoalan hubunganku dengan pria, beliau pernah mengatakan agar seorang wanita tidaklah mengajak atau meminta kepada seorang pria.  Beliau ingin aku bersikap sabar dan menanti seseorang.  Kalau jaman sekarang ini, pasti ada perempuan yang akan mengejekku dan membela diri dengan, "jaman sekarang sudah jaman kesetaraan gender mba, wajar aja kalau perempuan mengajak kencan pria duluan"  tapi, menurutku sih kalau kita menunggu seorang pria mengajak kencan, kemungkinan kita untuk ditolak kan kecil.  Kecuali jika kalian tahan banting ditolak oleh pria.  So, selama ini aku belum pernah sekalipun mengajak kencan seorang pria, atau bahkan "meminta" sesuatu dari dia, entah hadiah, belanja atau yang lainnya, gengsi dong ah..Masih banyak sebenarnya wejangan-wejangannya yang aku terapkan dalam kehidupanku.  Aku sangat bersyukur dan berterima kasih pada Almarhum eyangku yang lembut hati, dan penuh kasih sayang karena telah membentukku menjadi seorang yang kuat, optimis, lembut dan dewasa.

Sekarang ini, aku juga sedang menunggu..menunggu seseorang datang, mengajak kencan, menyayangi aku, mengasihi aku dan melindungi aku. Aku akan terus menunggu sampai si dia datang padaku..sayang kamu ada dimana sih?

Wanted Libra, Aries, or Aquarius Men

Aku cuma bisa membicarakan sedikit tentang mengapa aku berharap bertemu dengan cowok berzodiak Libra, Aries, atau Aquarius.  Selama ini biasanya aku pernah dekat dengan cowok yang berzodiak cancer, yang notabene bener-bener tidak cocok dan tidak nyambung baik secara fisik dan mental. Dari pengalaman bertemu dengan cowok-cowok yang tidak serasi, maka aku bisa membuat kesimpulan bahwa memang ada baiknya mencari pasangan dengan zodiac yang sama-sama berasal dari satu rasi yang sama dengan zodiac kita sehingga bisa saling berinteraksi dan berkomunikasi secara komplemen satu sama lain dengan mulus. 

Tadinya sih aku tidak pernah memusingkan soal hubungan asmara dengan zodiac, tapi dari analisa-analisa sepanjang hidup, ternyata ada hubungannya juga lho.  Aku sering merasakan ketidakcocokan dalam membina sebuah hubungan serius dengan seorang cowok yang berzodiac seperti cancer, virgo, apalagi capricorn!  Belakangan ini aku juga pernah mengenal seorang yang berzodiac Aquarius dan Libra, dan dengan keduanya aku merasa sangat nyaman, sangat nyambung dan sangat cocok.  Sayangnya, mereka masih belum berjodoh denganku.  Tapi, aku akui sekarang zodiac seseorang is really a matter for me.  Memang sih soal jodoh hanya Allah lah yang pegang rahasianya, mana yang paling cocok untuk kita.  Tapi, siapa tahu jodoh kita memang ditakdirkan dengan zodiac dari rasi yang sama.  Yang aku pelajari tentang Astrology sebaiknya kita mencari pasangan dengan zodiac dari satu elemen yang sama, contohnya Gemini, konon Gemini sangat cocok dengan Aquarius dan Libra yang juga berasal dari satu elemen yaitu udara. 

Selain dengan sesama elemen udara, biasanya udara cocok juga dengan elemen yang berasal dari Api contohnya Aries, Sagitarius dan Leo.  Tapi semuanya sih terserah masing-masing pribadi blogger ya, kalau misalkan blogger sudah sreg dengan seseorang dari unsur yang berbeda atau zodiac yang lain, walahualam lhoo...tapi, pasti ada ketidaksregan yang banyak dikehidupan kalian kelak.  Jangan terlalu percaya yaa..percayanya sama Allah SWT saja yang sudah mengatur jodoh kita. Harapanku, moga aja cowok yang mencintaiku kelak berzodiac Libra atau Aquarius..amin..

He's Not Interested

Not all the men you'll meet in the dating game will be interested in you. Some won't notice you, and some are only interested in being friends with you. But is there a way to subtly and secretly "turn them around" and make them feel an unexplainable attraction to you? Sure there is!  I hope you're not the type of woman who falls in love with every single man she meets! (That's just desperation!) Here's the fact -- not all the single men you'll  meet in the dating game will be interested in you. (Duh!) There will always be men whose standards you don't fall into, or those who simply don't notice you at all.  Of course, that's normal. Do YOU notice every single man that comes your way? Of course not!  But sometimes, and it's always frustrating when it happens, you meet that one GORGEOUS guy you'd like to know better. There's just one problem -- he doesn't notice you.  Or worse -- he knows you, but only likes you as a friend!

What should you do in such a situation? Should you push your luck and try to make him love you? Or should you walk away and regret not trying at all?

WHAT IF HE'S JUST NOT INTERESTED IN YOU?

Good question, and this question is actually pretty fun for me to answer.  Here are three possible approaches to a man who's just not interested in you:

Approach #1 - Just let him be -- it's his loss.
Some women think it's best to just let him be -- like if he doesn't notice you, or if he isn't interested in you, "it's his loss." That's fine, I guess. You're definitely welcome to spare yourself the effort of trying to catch his attention.  There's just one problem with this approach -- what if he was Mr. Right?  In some circles -- what if he was your "soulmate?"

Now here's what I think about "soulmates" -- there's more than one of them out there for you. There are LOTS of men out there who'd be fantastic matches for you.  But what if this one was the best one of the lot? What if "just letting him be" means missing a chance of meeting your one true love? Let me tell you this -- I REALLY hate those "what-if" questions! It really rubbed me the wrong way to go home regretting I didn't even say "Hi" to that gorgeous guy at the party.  So let's try another common approach we women try:

Approach #2 - Try to win him over.
Some of us muster the courage and confidence to approach a guy, say "hi," and try to win him over.  We make friends with him, we swap numbers, and later on we ask him out on a date. We even give him gifts and do him little favors.  Some of us even go as far as having sex with him!
I'm pretty sure you've tried some of that before. How well did it go?  Here's something you'll have to know about guys -- you can't directly CHANGE them.  If he's not interested in you, you can't directly change that.  If he only likes you as a friend, you can't directly change that.  Not with dates. Not with favors. Not with gifts.  Yup, not even with sex. (In fact, once he has sex with you BEFORE he's fallen in love with you, guess what? He'll start withdrawing and avoiding you!)  If that sounds a little hard to believe, then let me reverse the roles a bit for you.

Ask yourself -- how would you feel if a guy you weren't interested in started asking for your number and inviting you to dates?  How would you feel if a guy you weren't interested in started giving you gifts and doing you favors?  Now I'm sure guys won't "offer you free sex," but in case he did, how'd you feel?  GROSSED OUT, I'm sure!  Guess what? That's PRECISELY how a guy
would feel if he wasn't interested in you, BUT you started trying to win him over anyway! Needless to say, this approach doesn't work.  And even if it does work, it's even WORSE!  Even if you manage to make him fall in love with you, the attraction he'll feel towards you will always feel "forced" --and eventually, he'll grow tired of your relationship, and start looking for a way out.  So avoid this approach. Don't try to make a guy fall in love with you. It doesn't work, it wastes your time, and it annoys the guys you meet.  There's a much better way!

Approach #3 - Lead Him In.
Here's how the real SEDUCTRESSES do it. Instead of letting him be, and instead of trying to win him over, they do something entirely different.  They INVITE HIM IN.
Here's an easy example. Instead of directly approaching a guy and saying "hi," a smart, attractive woman catches his attention by making eye contact, giving him a wink, and then walking to a place they can talk.  Trust me -- that's an irresistible invitation for a guy! He's going to follow her, if only to ask: "Have we met before?"

Here's another tactic -- instead of INVITING him to a date, ask him to join you. "I'm having lunch at the Deli near your office. Want to meet up?" See? It's much less pressure on a guy, and it's much easier for him to say, "Sure, see you there!"  And here's another tip you can try if you REALLY have to say "hi" – just smile. Yup, smile. Like you've known the guy for a long, long time, and you're absolutely happy to see him. Trust me, he's going to smile back.  So ladies, here's today's lesson: don't chase after him.  INVITE HIM IN!  I just gave you a couple of examples you can try to "lead" a guy into knowing more about you, which opens the doors to a deeper friendship, more attraction, and -- who knows? Maybe even a real, long-term relationship!   It's sad, really. We women are getting more and more lonely, and men are getting more and more bored.  

There's a lot to learn about how to attract men actually, but maybe i will reveal it later..so keep finding girls!

She's All I Ever Had By Ricky Martin

                      Always have goosebump when i hear this song..

Superficial

Gemini's one of pet peeves is a superficial. Kalau mau dilihat-lihat perhatikan deh lambangnya sikembar ini, ada dua sisi disitu yang satu sisi hitam dan yang satunya putih.  Seperti perumpamaan evil and angel  ciri orang gemini ini mungkin sebenarnya seperti punya dua kepribadian atau bisa juga lambang dari pada  yin dan yang cieee..hmm..tapi sebenarnya superficial tuh apa sih? katanya sih superficial itu artinya orang yang bermuka dua alias lain dimulut lain dihati..yang bener nih?  kalau memang aku ini bermuka dua memangnya kenapa? apa sangat merugikan orang lain?  terserah kata orang, mau bilang aku ini bermuka masampun aku juga gak peduli kok..hehehe..yaa memang sih aku akui bahwa gak ada seorang pun di dunia ini yang sempurna.  NOBODY'S PERFECT GOT IT!  dan memang aku ini seorang yang bermuka dua mungkin, tapi aku bermuka dua bukan karena aku suka berpura-pura atau suka menipu orang lain.  Tapi karena aku lebih suka menjaga perasaan orang lain.  Aku selalu mengatur tutur kataku dihadapan lingkungan sosialku, dengan tujuan sopan santun.  Meskipun aku tidak suka pada seseorang, aku selalu memperlihatkan wajah ramahku, selama dia tidak menggangguku.  Atau meskipun aku tidak tertarik dengan seseorang, aku selalu dapat menolaknya dengan cara yang sangat halus hingga ia tidak sakit hati.  Begitulah caraku bermuka dua.. Bagiku hal seperti ini jauh lebih sopan ketimbang menjadi seorang yang arogan.  Yang sok merasa dirinya tinggi, dan gampang mencibir orang lain.  Tapi aku..aku akan mencibir seseorang dengan cara yang paling manis..hehehe..nggak lah blogger..aku bukan tipe orang yang suka mencibir seseorang.  Tapi memang itulah aku, mulut manis yang berbisa. 

Aku sebenarnya paling tidak suka menyakiti hati orang lain, apalagi sampai menimbulkan permusuhan.  Tapi, mungkin jadi banyak orang yang merasa tertipu dengan kelemah lembutanku.  Tapi, ya menurutku bukan salahku juga sih jika aku memang tidak tertarik.  Entahlah mungkin aku harus belajar untuk bisa lebih tegas terhadap orang lain.  Aku harus berani berkata tidak, ketika memang aku tidak ingin, bukannya malah mengatakan mmm maybe..hahaha..Aku pernah tersinggung ketika seorang teman berpendapat bahwa apakah aku ini seorang superficial, dan ia menjawabnya dengan "ya".  Lalu aku mulai menggali apa makna dibalik kata ini dan menganalisa apa benar aku ini seperti itu.  Dan ternyata jawabannya adalah MUNGKIN..

Tapi sifat ini justru yang membuatku rugi sendiri, contohnya disaat aku sedang jatuh cinta pada seseorang , aku bisa menyembunyikan perasaan ini dibalik wajahku yang dingin.  Sehingga tak seorangpun paham apa yang terjadi denganku kecuali aku memang menyatakannya bahwa aku jatuh cinta.  Tapi, orang yang kucintai belum tentu bisa menilainya.  Sifat ini terjadi dibawah kesadaranku, atau juga sadar..tapi menurutku hal ini terjadi karena rasa kehati-hatianku sebagai benteng dari rasa tidak amanku.  Rasa tidak aman akan penilaian orang lain, takut dicap negatif oleh lingkungan sehingga secara tidak sadar aku berusaha tampil perfect dimata orang.  Itulah sebabnya mungkin aku dijauhi oleh teman-temanku.  Seperti ada sisi jahat dibalik paras angelku, mungkin itulah kesan mereka terhadapku.  Yah..aku juga sebenarnya tidak mau dilahirkan dibulan juni dengan zodiak Gemini yang salah satu pet peevenya adalah superficial ini kalau bisa memilih, tapi ini yang menjadikanku seorang yang unik. karena menurutku cewek gemini itu agak sulit mendapatkan pasangan dikarenakan sifatnya yang nyentrik, dan mulutnya yang tajam bagai sebilah pedang sehingga banyak orang yang tidak tahan dengan kritikan pedasnya owww..! You see what i mean? Makanya sebisa mungkin aku selalu menjaga mulutku supaya tidak menyakiti perasaan orang lain. 

Tapi sifat ini sebenarnya juga tidak ada pengaruhnya untuk orang lain melainkan diriku sendiri.  Prinsipku  adalah selama aku bisa menyenangkan semua orang, bagiku itu adalah pahala. I'm not gonna say like,  hey you look ugly with that dress!..instead i'll say..you look better if you wear something else than that.  Coba deh bandingkan, blogger lebih memilih kalimat kasar atau kalimat halus?  Nah itulah diriku yang senang mengelus ego orang lain dibandingkan dengan bullying orang lain.  So sometimes being a superficial is not that bad..peace!

I am not blind..I know everything that you think i don't..

Sometimes I acted like a fool, but somehow I know it's just how I feel.  

I can see clearly what's your motives, but trust me..You almost got me.

You charmed me, with a love spell..And I feel drawned by your attentions.

But I know it's not real...it's not real..
I love myself..

"It's impossible" said the pride."It's risky" said the experience."It's meaningless"said the common sense. "Give it a chance" whispered the heart.